[fatlaz]

Aaaah, I awake in Dover on a beautiful sunny day, twins and stage charged ready to rock on the Easter shandy gig.

Oh wait, now I have actually woken up and am off on my way to meet Jay at Stoney for a better than jack set of training dives. It does however still snow and blow a touch, quite like it was in Dover when I moodily left on the Saturday, following the hardcore blow-out disaster that was Friday and Saturday.

Myself and Jay meet up in good spirits and get ready to get wet, but no, what is this, air pissing from Jays regs, who would have foreseen such a bunch of arse approaching? We nearly bin the dive at this point after discussing the massive amounts of deco we would clock up. Instead, we pop to the shop and the very kind chap in there sorts the reg out for Jay for a small donation to the air ambulance charity box, cheers.

Right, now we have gas, working kit and are ready to take part in the Shandy Deco Memorial Spectacular, we kit up and set off for the bus stop.

Dive 1 - *Spaloosh* we enter the murky depths and set off for the box. We get to the box after 15mins of deep dark exploration (faffing about), have a quick shufty and then set off for the road, cairn and then the bus. We get to the bus without issue and have a glance about before setting off for the Stanegarth, well, that’s where we meant to go. Instead we found a new hydro-box and then hit the far wall. We weren’t quite sure where we were but having loads of gas left hung a left. What is this we see appearing from the gloom, why isn’t that a nice sight, not the steps, bus stop or anything like that but the damn galleon. By now the tea consumption before the dive is starting to become apparent, oh dear. We followed the wall back around at approx. 6m anticlockwise towards the way out and safety of a bathroom encountering many pike, large and small, sleepy and frisky and even a few actually at it!!!!!! At approx. 80 mins into the dive we returned to the exit point, the deco having long cleared and then get out with mainly cold fingers for our medal presentation, and some tea.


Dive 2 - What shall we do now, yes that’s it, as we (purposefully) didn’t get to the Stanegarth, we decide to go and dick around laying line, everywhere, like a fluo yellow spiders web. So after a Tsunami inducing entry, away we go, down the wall to the land rover chassis and along the wall to the chopper and then with a phenomenal sense of direction (hammered into me by years of diving in Stoney) away to the tug. We arrive and hog tie the boat up like a goodun going through pretty much any and every hole, and then back again. 25 mins in it is getting about time to turn around and head for home again. After finally recovering all the line laid we dropped back off the side of the Stanegarth and followed the anchor chain back to the wall, up by the cockpit and then onto the 6m shelf where we proceeded to wait another 8 mins to clock up the hour. Job done.



Hi to Weazelz, Prometheus, Hebails and Frankie who we chatted to here and there during our surface interval. We hope you eagerly await tomorrows hilarious report from Laz and Jay 1 curry and a good shower later.



Laz and Jay.


EDIT : Post ammended due to actual unfunny nature of OP