[Finless]

Originally Posted by Naomi S

Being an inexperienced sports diver and new to YD i have had a great few days at work (not much work has been done but hey) reading a load of old threads and learning about stuff that can go wrong and how people have dealt with different situations which is really useful - has got me thinking 'what would i do if?' for various scenarios.

I've had a few chuckles at the minor mishaps which are more funny than dangerous or dangerous but funny after as the outcome was ok. Thought i'd share a few of my blonde moments so far and see if you guys have any more to add......

There was in the pool last week when practicing breathing through a free flowing reg. My mask was set up a bit loose as had been to horsea at the weekend where i was wearing a nice think hood. The jet of bubbles blew said mask clean off my face!

Then there was the dive where i was put in charge of leading at horsea. I wanted to find the helicopter and so figured the easiest way to do this would be to fin on the surface to the shot go and have a look and then bumble on back towards the car park hopefully seeing the land rover and boat and stuff on the way back. All went to plan, we saw the helicopter and set off back towards car park - i realised i had forgotten to take a bearing at the surface to the land rover so i thought it's fine we'll just go in a straight line and hope for the best. I was a touch confused when we reached another helicopter as i thought there was only one. Feeling a bit lost i handed over the dive leading to the instructor who got us back to where we had planned no probs. When we got out she told me there isn't 2 helicopters and i'd manged to lead us in a big circle! Think i need to work on my nav a bit!

I blame it on having one leg stronger than the other so that without visual aids you will naturally fin round a circular path.

That's my theory and I'm sticking to it!


Blonde On A Plane

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE

IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES

TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS,

AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID

FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT

SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES,

"I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL,

I'M GOING TO TORONTO ,

AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE".

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT

AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT

THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO

SITTING IN FIRST CLASS THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY,

AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE

AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE

SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL

HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES,

"I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL,

I'M GOING TO TORONTO ,

AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE".

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE

PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING

WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE

WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE?

I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED

TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE".

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND

WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS,

"OH, I'M SORRY," AND GETS UP AND GOES

BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY..

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT

ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID

TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO ' ".