| Depends and yes this is personal.
My brother-in-law and sisters grave still hasnt got a headstone after about
6 years. Three years later my mother & father died, not being able to
place flowers on a gravestone. Mother was so upset by this that she left a
provision in her will. It's still not done BTW.
The grave is "owned" by my nephews and we cant do anything without
there permission.
Here you have a woman who went to her death, not being able to grieve
over her daughter in the way that she was brought up, while her grandsons
put little (if any) importance to tending the grave.
Whatever we think as individuals, if there are family and friends that take
comfort in visiting these sites, we have a duty to maintain them.
So yes spout "get on with life" etc, but remember that there are some who
need for want of a better phrase "a point of reference".
I dont think I could be as selfish to deny them that, but suppose it really
depends on who is still left around to care. |