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Thread: Fondle my knob

  1. #1
    Woz's Avatar
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    Fondle my knob

    I've heard about your knob. Why is it so good?
    If you find your hands hurt after manipulating your nuts, then maybe my knob is for you. Its nice and smooth and much wider so won't hurt as much.

    My nuts hurt and dig into my back. Will these help?
    Of course. The nice rounded top won't hurt at all.

    I've heard the little flange on normal nuts can damage my protective suit.
    Yes- continual rubbing can cause a nasty split and embarrasing wetness and maybe even get you into trouble.

    What does your knob look like?
    Well, it's lovely and shiny with a nice rounded top, a short shaft and a hole in the end.

    I have used your knob and it is stiff. What's wrong?

    A stiff knob can be caused by an American stud. Make sure your stud is European, M8. An American stud can have a tool run up and down it to make it fit my knob.

    Should I lube your knob?
    A little lube before screwing is a good idea. A drop of oil, some grease or, if nothing else is to hand, spit.

    I have bought your knob but I now have 2. Is this normal?
    Yes. knobs should ideally be used in pairs. One at the top, and one at the bottom.

    Is there any maintenance required on your knob?

    As with any equipment subjected to salty, wet environments, a simple rinse off is all that is required. You may want to polish it occasionally to keep the end shiny.

    I have been using your knob for some time now and crusty deposits have collected under the rim. What should I do?

    This deposit can be removed by scrubbing with a tootbrush dipped in a 10% white vinegar solution.

    I like the sound of your knob. Can I see it please?

    Pictures of my knob are available on the Internet.

    How about a touch of your knob?

    Of course. I would be pleased to show you my knob and let you examine it closely. You can even try it out for size to see if the hole fits your stud.

    Your knob is not long enough and my stud hits the bottom.
    Simply shorten your stud by cutting off the end or winding your nuts to shorten the bit that sticks out.

    How tight can I get your knob?
    Much tighter than your nuts.

    Your knob has come off in my hand.
    You are not gripping it firmly enough. Sometimes when your equipment gets wet, the knob gets a bit loose. Try screwing it harder.
    Last edited by Woz; 24-04-09 at 08:27 AM.
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  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Woz
    tom make it fit my knob.
    I'm not going anywhere near your knob. Sicko.


    EDIT: Of course, it was funnier before you edited your post...
    Last edited by tom; 24-01-06 at 10:04 AM.
    that voodoo stuff don't do nuthin' for me

  3. #3
    Dizzydiver Guest
    Ooh, best offer I've had all morning!

  4. #4
    Steve Summers's Avatar
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    Wink Obi woz knob......i

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  5. #5
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    Can you try before you buy?
    Helen

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  6. #6
    Dizzydiver Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Buoyant Babe
    Can you try before you buy?
    I bet it's like Harrods sale, you've got to elbow your way in then hang on to it for grim death!

  7. #7
    Woz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buoyant Babe
    Can you try before you buy?
    Of course you can. I would be happy to get my knob out and let you have a play with it.

    Any more questions? I'll try to answer them as fully as possible.
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  8. #8
    Tricky's Avatar
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    I'm like a dog with two knobs since I bought mine....
    Disinformation is not as good as datinformation

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  9. #9
    Dizzydiver Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Tricky
    I'm like a dog with two knobs since I bought mine....
    Ooh yuck, animal genitalia again....

  10. #10
    Bantam's Avatar
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    Your knob has strange smooth lobes on it. Does this aid grip?

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