Uwatec Dive Timer

[milldog]

Originally Posted by bluefishman13

GARF i take it you you used to work on the stage, or have escaped from somewhere

yes he did work on the stage ............... he swept it

Graham

[Digger]

I think we're all forgetting the impact of a cuckoo on trim and buoyancy. A wooden cuckoo could pop out and throw you feet up, off to the surface, all sorts.

I can't believe in this day and age we're talking about using wooden cuckoos. You guys need to get with the times.

Brass is what you're after. Old school look, plus doesn't corrode much and won't rot. You can get some nice stainless workings for it, but then if you're using the fresh water model then you can make the whole thing out of mild steel.

I remember back in the glory days when we used to have dive timers that would run out of digits for decent dives. THat said, it's not hard to work out that you're not at 1 metre, because you just went a bloody long way down. I don't know many people who can't remember how many hundreds they went down

I do want one of these things mind. If only to see the new cuckoo feature. I've been thinking about getting a water vole for the rebreather, it could just walk around the loop and if it dies I know I need to bail out.

Digs.

[Mal Bridgeman]

Originally Posted by Digger

I've been thinking about getting a water vole for the rebreather, it could just walk around the loop and if it dies I know I need to bail out.

Digs.

Vole ? What kind of madness is that? Where is the precedence? You'd have to be some sort of halfwit to dive with an unknown piece of kit like the vole.

No, what you want is a canary. Their skill in reliably determining the unsuitability of a breathing gas is legendary. Since the mines got closed down, there are an awful lot of them unemployed nowadays so you should be able to pick a few up cheaply on the street corner. (Do buy a copy of their Big Issue first though).

I'd recommend diving with two initially till you get the hang of them, then introduce a third if you are unsure. The third canary should be fitted with the VR3 connector though so you get instant feedback on your imminent demise.

HTH
Mal

[Digger]

We tried the canary, but to be honest all that time down the mines and they've got unionised. The T&GCU (Transport and General Canaries Union) has taken over and salary demands have got ridiculous. They priced themselves out of the market years ago, and whilst we can all blame Maggie Thatcher, I think we all know she was backed into a corner by the United Yellow Front.

I have carried out tests with Blue Tits and Sparrow, however they seem to lack the discipline and quiet go about your business approach of the vole. Plus voles have a particularly high resistance to CO2, much like myself. You don't want a false alarm animal like a tit or sparrow.

Plus the voles are cheap, they are easily trapped in Eastern Europe and sent as gas slaves to work in grubby units in the West. I know there are ethical concerns, but I can't be responsible for the world's economic problems.

Digs.

[Mal Bridgeman]

Originally Posted by Digger

We tried the canary, but to be honest all that time down the mines and they've got unionised. The T&GCU (Transport and General Canaries Union) has taken over and salary demands have got ridiculous. They priced themselves out of the market years ago, and whilst we can all blame Maggie Thatcher, I think we all know she was backed into a corner by the United Yellow Front.

No one ever said diving would be cheap. Choosing the right sort of avarian support is on the same level as choosing your gases in the first places.

You can cut corners if you like but one day the vole will bite you on the arse. There have been no recorded arse biting incidents involving canaries. As Howard P says "Canaries are your friend"
Mal

[neilh]

FFS I don't know which is more worrying, you lot or the fact this is all making some sense

[broady]

The sort of thread that makes YD the great place it is !!

Graham


.

[Digger]

Originally Posted by Mal Bridgeman

No one ever said diving would be cheap. Choosing the right sort of avarian support is on the same level as choosing your gases in the first places.

You can cut corners if you like but one day the vole will bite you on the arse. There have been no recorded arse biting incidents involving canaries. As Howard P says "Canaries are your friend"
Mal

Well, if I'm honest I've never really trusted canaries. Ever since the playing dead incident in 1976 and the subsequent evacuation and leaving the door off the latch which left us locked out of the pit for 3 days. Nearly cost us all that day. They are a premium product, but you have to consider their temperament. I had one once which was good as gold, or yellow, or something, and it was a true fighter. Unfortunately I sold it to feed my Starling habit, and so many times over the years I've thought about if only I could get Johnny back. I'm told he had a close call in a Central African diamond mine, but he's a hard bastard so he'd have got through. I do hope his new owners are looking after him well. He does like the odd cigarette, which can get him into trouble in these mines.

I did have an arse biting incident involving a hamster the once, but that wasn't to do with diving. I'm quite sure the vole's attitude will be professional and reliable, unlike their weasel friends. Slippery bastards those weasels.

Digs.

[Mal Bridgeman]

The story of what happened to Johnny is, of course, well known amongst the Gas Analysis elite.

In the early 80's he was promoted but at the 1982 Office Christmas party he got a bit too friendly with the new American CEO's daughter and they were caught performing a sex act of such degradation that it was not till many years later that the full extent of the act was known.

Shamed and humiliated by this incident he tendered his resignation and went to work on a local farm. Depsite many publicised flings with the farmyard animals it was clear his preference was for the bovine nature and within a couple of seasons he and Daisy, the milk cow, eloped to set up home in the Far East.

They had two children. The first was rather strangely named, Analox, seemingly a combination of his wife's breeding and a reference back to the incident with the African Diamond Mine owner's daughter. The second child was a daughter and as a teenager a bit of an IT girl often to be found in Hong Kong nightspots being rather saucy with the visiting businessmen.

Eventually they settled down, went to university and got degrees. Analox decided he wanted to do his father proud and created a Gas Analysis business whereas OxyChick just couldn't make up her mind. She dabbled in Gas Analysis but branched out and diversified her product range and created a successful allround dive kit business. Some say she got her guidance from the African Diamond Mine owner's daughter but rumours of any form of improprietary were both malicious and false.

Johnny and Daisy split soon after their children left home finding, as they did, little in common between a failed Mine Canary and an underweight African bovine. Johnny fell into depression and got caught up in the Asian drug scene. Down on his luck and struggling to make his way in business again he was recently rumoured to be starring in low budget made-for-the-internet Dutch pornography , where he was able to earn a few bucks finally able to quaff his desire for the Exit Door. He is supported by his royalties from his most successful flick, The Van Dan Graph Analiser.

I understand Channel 4 are shortly to be making a docusoap of his life.
Rgrds
Mal

[Digger]

They always said if you love them set them free. I'll miss Johnny. Shame he got caught up in all that, but then he was always lying in the gutter looking at the stars. From the gas you understand, not because he was ambitious.

I'm awaiting the C4 documentary. I would like to be played by Alan Rickman, he is the only person evil enough to play the cruel role I did in his life. Poor bugger. Johnny that is, not Alan Rickman. He's not poor at all, by all accounts rolling in it.

Digs.