Yorkshire Divers

Madfish · #31 (**permalink**) 14-07-07, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Bridgeman

The story of what happened to Johnny is, of course, well known amongst the Gas Analysis elite.

In the early 80's he was promoted but at the 1982 Office Christmas party he got a bit too friendly with the new American CEO's daughter and they were caught performing a sex act of such degradation that it was not till many years later that the full extent of the act was known.

Shamed and humiliated by this incident he tendered his resignation and went to work on a local farm. Depsite many publicised flings with the farmyard animals it was clear his preference was for the bovine nature and within a couple of seasons he and Daisy, the milk cow, eloped to set up home in the Far East.

They had two children. The first was rather strangely named, Analox, seemingly a combination of his wife's breeding and a reference back to the incident with the African Diamond Mine owner's daughter. The second child was a daughter and as a teenager a bit of an IT girl often to be found in Hong Kong nightspots being rather saucy with the visiting businessmen.

Eventually they settled down, went to university and got degrees. Analox decided he wanted to do his father proud and created a Gas Analysis business whereas OxyChick just couldn't make up her mind. She dabbled in Gas Analysis but branched out and diversified her product range and created a successful allround dive kit business. Some say she got her guidance from the African Diamond Mine owner's daughter but rumours of any form of improprietary were both malicious and false.

Johnny and Daisy split soon after their children left home finding, as they did, little in common between a failed Mine Canary and an underweight African bovine. Johnny fell into depression and got caught up in the Asian drug scene. Down on his luck and struggling to make his way in business again he was recently rumoured to be starring in low budget made-for-the-internet Dutch pornography , where he was able to earn a few bucks finally able to quaff his desire for the Exit Door. He is supported by his royalties from his most successful flick, The Van Dan Graph Analiser.

I understand Channel 4 are shortly to be making a docusoap of his life.
Rgrds
Mal

You're spending way too much time with those bloody chimps man.......

Dianne