Above water embarrassment

[thewisestfish]

Ok,

This is a DiFF thread for you to share anything particularly DiFF that you have done above the water during the day - best put it on here and let us all laugh at your stupidilty.

Share your embarrassment, and we will share ours back with you...

Good stories will be carried through into a section on the website.

[thewisestfish]

Stayed over at my Aunts in Barkingside on the way back to Yorkshire after a weeks diving in Croatia.

In her bathroom, she's got this weird white coloured thing in the sahpe of a beetle stuck to the wall. I wondered what it was, it's about shoulder height. So, peering over the top of it, I kind of pushed it....and...

Sprayed byself right bang smack in the eye with airfresherner.

F**king ouch.

I must not touch things that I don't know what they are....I must not touch things that I don't know what they are.....Oh, I know I will again.

[tom]

I posted a load of crap on the internet, and made everyone think I was an idiot. Oops.

Does that count?

[thewisestfish]

Originally Posted by tom

I posted a load of crap on the internet, and made everyone think I was an idiot. Oops.

Does that count?

Erm, ha ha. snap.

[dave archer]

Have posted this before IIRC, but still makes me cringe

I no longer use the term Bap to refer to a bread roll, following an embarrassing incident several years ago...

First day of a new job, lunchtime, down to the canteen with the new boss, trying not to let on he's unknowlingly hired a eedjit
Lady behind the sandwich counter is a large rotund lady of afro-carribean descent.
My turn to choose my sarnie, I start by specifying the type of bread I want, before moving onto fillings...
"Hi. Do you have large brown baps?" says I
She looks at me quizically
Time slows as I realise my terrible faux par
I wait for one of the many near by to pick up on it and hope the ground will open up and swallow me....seconds drag...
Happily, no-one else notices! "Yes" says the lady, to my eternal relief...

Bread roll.... Bread roll.... Bread roll....

Dave.

[thewisestfish]

Originally Posted by dave archer

Have posted this before IIRC, but still makes me cringe

I no longer use the term Bap to refer to a bread roll, following an embarrassing incident several years ago...

First day of a new job, lunchtime, down to the canteen with the new boss, trying not to let on he's unknowlingly hired a eedjit
Lady behind the sandwich counter is a large rotund lady of afro-carribean descent.
My turn to choose my sarnie, I start by specifying the type of bread I want, before moving onto fillings...
"Hi. Do you have large brown baps?" says I
She looks at me quizically
Time slows as I realise my terrible faux par
I wait for one of the many near by to pick up on it and hope the ground will open up and swallow me....seconds drag...
Happily, no-one else notices! "Yes" says the lady, to my eternal relief...

Bread roll.... Bread roll.... Bread roll....

Dave.

Oh, you've just proper made me laugh.

[rustuk]

Originally Posted by dave archer

Have posted this before IIRC, but still makes me cringe

I no longer use the term Bap to refer to a bread roll, following an embarrassing incident several years ago...

First day of a new job, lunchtime, down to the canteen with the new boss, trying not to let on he's unknowlingly hired a eedjit
Lady behind the sandwich counter is a large rotund lady of afro-carribean descent.
My turn to choose my sarnie, I start by specifying the type of bread I want, before moving onto fillings...
"Hi. Do you have large brown baps?" says I
She looks at me quizically
Time slows as I realise my terrible faux par
I wait for one of the many near by to pick up on it and hope the ground will open up and swallow me....seconds drag...
Happily, no-one else notices! "Yes" says the lady, to my eternal relief...

Bread roll.... Bread roll.... Bread roll....

Dave.

Just think how much worse it could have been....
She might have thought she'd pulled....

[Noel Johnson]

When trying to put on a display at Stoney demonstrating a giant stride entry to small kids it is a good idea to ensure your fin tips are clear of any gaps between the planks, as fin tips make for a very nice pivot point causing one to go straight down face first into the water.
Not really my finest hour, especially as I was wearing the twinset as well!

[edward]

not diving, but.....

I once took a compass bearing on a nice rock in the berwyn hills, demonstating to the group of teenagers I was leading the good practice of not trying to 'walk' on a bearing if you could just walk to a previously identified object in the correct direction. Brilliant, provided the bloody rock doesn't get up and run off as you walk towards it. Bloody sheep. And all the little sods followed it just to pi** me off. Even now, 15 years later, my so called mates still say 'look at that field of rocks' when they see sheep. ba**ards!

[ScubaMoz]

this one I'm infamous for...even got in the daily nationals, local telly and radio...15 minutes of fame and all that...to cut a long and many times story told, I thought the school's hamster was dead so took it home and buried it in the back garden. the next day the cat (known as Morrissey...see the links?!) digs up the box and whadda ya know, there's the little fella gasping for breath...lucky it wasn't Easter otherwise there could've been a new religion springing up in my back yard. bloody hamster lived for another 18 months before going to that great wheel in the sky...arh bless him...he did look dead tho' in my defence!!