Below water embarrassment

[Narced at sea level]

My first dive on Gordon Reef ( I think its gordon anyway - its the Tiran Reef with the barrels of crude oil strewn around the bottom - I'll check my logbook or just stand corrected if someone knows better) .

my photographer buddy was busy with his head stuck in a rock trying to photograph an occy so I kept myself amused by constructing a 9 inch black crude oil penis complete with testicles and realistic bell-end - while the rest of our group buggered off.

Thinking I was alone, I held the crude phallic obect at waist level, scooped up small handfulls of sand and made them spurt obscenely from the end of said crude oil penis over my buddy's unsuspecting head - only to turn around to see a completely different group of divers had arrived behind me land were looking at me like I was probably the biggest cunt they had ever seen in thier lives.

[Duncan Price]

1. Putting fins on at entrance to cave in Florida. Had not connected inflator to drysuit (no BC) or turned air on. Lost grip on sides of cave entrance (a narrow tube from daylight) and sunk to bottom in chamber 3 m down. No mask. Had to stuff regulator in gob, turn on air and then connect drysuit feed before making way back to fuzzy glow of daylight.

2. In preparation for a future cave dive took a 4 l cylinder on my own* to sump (i.e. the start of flooded bit) several hours from daylight whereupon I dropped it in the water knocking the tap on. Sat there in caving gear (no wetsuit) watching tank empty out of reach.

* I'm not condoning solo caving but it is done sometimes.

[DiverChris]

Forgot Weight Belt, Not done zip up properly, had cylinder fall out of BC...Been there done that.

My best was whilst returning home on a bumby Rhib ride. I was sat at the front sitting on the sponson getting covered with water. Eventually fed up with a mouth full of sea water I leaned over the side of the fast moving boat to spit out the water. I did this and managed to get the poor sod sitting to my left right in the face.

Whoops!

[Jen]

Several years ago a group of us went to Dahab. One of the group was an ole fella called Harry celebrating his 60th birthday, a sweet enough fella but age was definitely starting to get the better of him.

Highlight of the week was the Blue Hole, we dropped in at the canyons then staying shallow we swam towards the hole itself. We went in over a shallow 6m saddle where we were met with a stunning sight. Gazzillions (yes i counted them all) of pretty feeshes set againts the blackdrop of this very very deep and scary blue hole.

Being an eloquent bird I could no longer supress my desire to comment on the vision before me. So I hurriedly scrawled Fuck! on my slate and showed it to Harry who was my buddy at the time.

Later that same evening (you know what's coming now don't you) we were all enjoying beers and reliving the days fab diving when Harry took me to one side and asked if my earlier comment on the slate had been followed by an exclamation mark or a question mark.

[StuartC]

sent the following to a buddy as a reminder of the moment during a trip to Stoney where he realised his integrated weights were still integrated with his car boot...

[mark g]

Originally Posted by LisaR

Almost drowned with laughing soooo much at my buddy taking a photo of me giving a certain gnome in capers a BJ.

if you ever need a buddy i am short with big ears and a little fishing rod

[Allan Carr]

Diving in New Zealand many years ago, wearing the old 'horse-collar' Fenzy. I had been collectiing Scallops and had a very large bag. On returning to the surface, I had difficulty staying afloat so I blew my Fenzy up fully - whereupon I realised that the crotch strap was rather too tight! Ouch!

The only time I have ever had to give the 'come and get me signal' to the boat. It was either that or let go of the scallops. The skipper thought it was hilarious.

[ratcliffe]

Originally Posted by mark g

if you ever need a buddy i am short with big ears and a little fishing rod

Well, at least you are honest..

[Ali]

Got lost in Cape yesterday
The vis was pants though

Ali

[thewisestfish]

Originally Posted by Ali

Got lost in Cape yesterday
The vis was pants though

Ali

mate - that's no bloody excuse. I am ALWAYS lost at Cape. But then, I don't have a compass because I got wedged on it at tynemouth when I decided it was a good idea to slide in a dignified manor over the concrete wall that seperates the pool - but misjudged the depth of the waves and got somewhat stuck like a walrus, with my poor comapss underneath me.

You must have done something more stupid than that....or good old Smiley Tompo - he surely could write a book about the things he's done couldn't he?