Below water embarrassment

[sidthejedi]

Bored under Swanage Pier on a bimble and boosted a Spider Crab but lost track of it as it floated back down.

Cue buddy flooding mask as said crab lands on first stage, scuttles down tank and spends next five minutes hanging off the knife lanyard on my calf by one claw swiping at me with its other claw.

[Hellvet]

i usually try to leave my weightbelt behind but ive always noticed so far before actually getting in the water! usually after ive kitted up mind!

My worst moment of madness was on a recent archeological diving survey trip when we were diving in a moderate swell (and thus doing rapid descents down the shot line once we'd rolled in). We got dropped uptide of the shot, drifted onto it, and descended - well that was the plan! My buddy did this, but i had real trouble swimming to the shot - i couldn't work out why and was about to descend to get out of the swell until i worked out that the reason i was having trouble finning was that i had no fins on! I thought about going down and not admitting to it, but thought swimming in survey circles might be a bit too much fun with no fins.

I grabbed the shot buoy, and gave the distress signal to the boat who were motoring away from the site to start patrolling, and they threw the boat round 180degrees and came back at a rate of knots with a look of real concern on their faces asking what was wrong - bless them they'd been waiting for me to have an DCI incident all week, wrapping me in cotton wool before every dive cos they knew my pfo isn't healed, then i replied "Fins would be helpful!" and they all cracked up laughing...their instant reply was "thats a porthole for you, young lady" as our club has a "Golden Porthole" award for the best cock-up of the year. Thankfully i think ive got away with it cos it technically wasnt a club dive or club trip - we'll find out at the agm....

The other diving incident i had was recently i drove back to cornwall to go diving with my buds (having moved back to london) and was sleeping in my van. Unfortunately i didn't realise that if you use the internal central locking then it doesn't disengage when you get out the back and the door blew shut when i got out to go for a pee - and i had to smash a back window to get back in as the keys and my phone were both locked inside! Ouch!

it can only get worse too...

[thewisestfish]

Very good!! I especially like the locked in the van accident. That sounds just like something I would do. Cornwall to London. Ouch!

Originally Posted by Hellvet

i usually try to leave my weightbelt behind but ive always noticed so far before actually getting in the water! usually after ive kitted up mind!

My worst moment of madness was on a recent archeological diving survey trip when we were diving in a moderate swell (and thus doing rapid descents down the shot line once we'd rolled in). We got dropped uptide of the shot, drifted onto it, and descended - well that was the plan! My buddy did this, but i had real trouble swimming to the shot - i couldn't work out why and was about to descend to get out of the swell until i worked out that the reason i was having trouble finning was that i had no fins on! I thought about going down and not admitting to it, but thought swimming in survey circles might be a bit too much fun with no fins.

I grabbed the shot buoy, and gave the distress signal to the boat who were motoring away from the site to start patrolling, and they threw the boat round 180degrees and came back at a rate of knots with a look of real concern on their faces asking what was wrong - bless them they'd been waiting for me to have an DCI incident all week, wrapping me in cotton wool before every dive cos they knew my pfo isn't healed, then i replied "Fins would be helpful!" and they all cracked up laughing...their instant reply was "thats a porthole for you, young lady" as our club has a "Golden Porthole" award for the best cock-up of the year. Thankfully i think ive got away with it cos it technically wasnt a club dive or club trip - we'll find out at the agm....

The other diving incident i had was recently i drove back to cornwall to go diving with my buds (having moved back to london) and was sleeping in my van. Unfortunately i didn't realise that if you use the internal central locking then it doesn't disengage when you get out the back and the door blew shut when i got out to go for a pee - and i had to smash a back window to get back in as the keys and my phone were both locked inside! Ouch!

it can only get worse too...

[londonsean69]

OK, this happened today (18 Oct)

I was taking a couple of people out on a dive, one a newly qualified OW diver, so I was checking on him quite regularly.

Of course, whilst checking I did it the flash way, turn around and scull backwards. Then it happens........

Bar-steward spiny sea urchins , still having problems sitting normally

[Allan Carr]

Just remembered another incident. Diving from the club RIB, we had short slack and I was in a hurry to get in. Stuck weight belt on while sitting down, kitted up and rolled in. Unfortunately it was the wrong belt and was many kilos heavier than mine although it looked the same. My buddy wondered where I had disappeared to!

[Cobby]

OK I think yesterday's shenanigans at Stoney warrant a mention in DiFF. Myself and fellow DiFF member Ian Wheeldon were having a bimble in the cove so I could get used to my new dry suit. Dive went OK after Ian nabbed some extra weight for me from some guys on the quay. Back up to the carpark and I manage to rip my cuff seal! DOH! In true Bob the Builder style Ian tapes me up with Gaffer tape to see if we can manage a second dive (it wasn't a huge rip) We get down to the water and I find myself in a strange head down position (on the side) trying to get my new hi vis hood (with special shiny bits on the head) on. The struggle produced a pulled muscle in my neck which was v painful at the time and meant canning the dive! Ian was a fab buddy and went to get the trolley to wheel my gear back to the car. I definitely got off lighter than had I been diving with Scubamoz. Got home to a "you fcukwit" reception which was fair enough really and now stink of deep heat! All good fun - few lessons learnt with new kit!!

[Buoyant Babe]

Originally Posted by Allan Carr

Just remembered another incident. Diving from the club RIB, we had short slack and I was in a hurry to get in. Stuck weight belt on while sitting down, kitted up and rolled in. Unfortunately it was the wrong belt and was many kilos heavier than mine although it looked the same. My buddy wondered where I had disappeared to!

At least you still have your weightbelt Mine is on the sea bed 20m down at the Farnes! De-kitting in a big chop to get back on the rib, it sunk to the bottom almost as quickly as the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I felt it slip through my cold little fingers

If anyone finds it next season, giz a shout!

Before HWMBO gets in here! Yes I did loose my weightbelt on a dive off Plymouth earlier this year - crotch strap and weightbelt had mating session then weight belt got fed up and dropped beyond sight. Fortunately some of the guys /gals on the RIB felt a need to do "search and recovery" and other than a red face it was an ok result.

Ok, ok, I confess (I know he won't be able to contain himself) lovely day out at Tintagil. Errm, ok so it would have been better if I'd remembered the drysuit that was back in Gloucester!

[Allan Carr]

Originally Posted by Buoyant Babe

At least you still have your weightbelt Mine is on the sea bed 20m down at the Farnes! De-kitting in a big chop to get back on the rib, it sunk to the bottom almost as quickly as the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I felt it slip through my cold little fingers

If anyone finds it next season, giz a shout!

That's why all my family have D-rings on their weightbelts - we clip them on to a line before unfastening them. It saves the need to lift them up over your head when RIB diving and makes it easier for the person on the boat as well.

When I went in with that over-heavy belt, I rolled back over the side of the RIB and the next thing I knew, I was approaching the bottom head first! Good job it was only 12 M.

[Buoyant Babe]

Originally Posted by Allan Carr

That's why all my family have D-rings on their weightbelts - we clip them on to a line before unfastening them. It saves the need to lift them up over your head when RIB diving and makes it easier for the person on the boat as well.

When I went in with that over-heavy belt, I rolled back over the side of the RIB and the next thing I knew, I was approaching the bottom head first! Good job it was only 12 M.

Top tip Allan! Glad you were allright after your head down descent!