Diving with a numpty

[nickb]

Originally Posted by rustferret

Any one else dived with a numpty?

Yes

[mala]

must be me.
never dived with a numpty.
inexperienced yes.-numpty no.

must be lucky i guess.

[Jinxy]

Its been very amusing to read all the forms regarding this matter, I just thought it was me that attracted all the numpty’s.

One of the best ones that happed to my party was this guy, he was much used as a chocolate tea pot.

You could tell it was going down hill from the moment he turned up, First he turned up 1 hour late, he live 5 miles from where we were diving. He said he forgot he was diving today and forgot most of his kit.

Now being good samaritans we said we will dig about in our bags and we came up with spare kit he could use.

So their we were by the shore waiting for him to get kitted up, he comes waddling down the beach saying he is ready.

Right I said it time to do the buddy check and he said he did it with some passer by in the car park, I made he redo the buddy check only to find the following:

• Weight belt wrong way round.
• Chest & waste strap not done up. (Held in place with lumber band).
• Not connected his drysuit hose.
• Air not turned on.
• A 10p size hole in drysuit he forgot about.
• 10 bar of pressure in the tank.

Found out latter the tank was 2 years out of date (Yes the air was 3 years old). It seams this chap was doing time & got out of the gov hotel just in time for his first dive in 3 years and not telling no one.

The funny thing about this guy was we been talking to him for about just under 2 years on the net but made us excuses why he could not make it (Funny That).

So my bit of advice is to know who you are diving with and ask more questions before you go jumping is with a numpty.

By the way anyone fancy diving this Sunday, I get out on Saturday night so ill need a lift and some kit (Just Joking)

[divingdancer]

blimey did not know that government hotels allowed "guests" to access the net so readily.

Am posting at 5.25 am as rustferret has set off for brid harbour with Xen and woke me up. (he never could leave quietly) have a good dive guys

[Twinsetmad]

I've had fun with a lovely guy on a few occasions....he's just a bit dizzy some times...
Down at 36m in Stoney and time to go...I signal but he's still sitting on the bottom...
I shout, he looks, pionts at his computer ...but he's not moving..

I get hold of his arm and start frog kick marching him up the road...

after we do our stops and surface, I ask whats going on....?

He said he was doing what his computer told him.. he'd not seen his Vytec say stop before..

he was only trying to do a stop at 36 meters...

[MarkP]

Dived with a numpty?

No, not me, but my buddies say they have...

[IanDennis]

Numpty divers - yes dived with a few over the years fortunately managed to survive all the dives.

The best example was on dougie's boat out of aquanauts. Running a trip for my school had 8 divers on board. Loading the boat one of the divers walks down the gangplank which is quite steep and at the bottom manages to drop a 15ltr over the righthand side into the harbour. Fortunately in trying to grab it he turned the air on. He looks at myself and the divemaster with an "opps" look and then just shruggs.

So we put somebody in and get the rental tank back.Not even a thankyou!

Then another member of the party brings the first 3 of his kit bags on board - 1 for the drysuit, 1 for the semidry and 1 full of other bits. As such he takes the brunt of dougies comments and proceeds to spread his stuff all over the boat. Does the first dive with a 300 bar 12 then swaps to a 232. "You will need to adjust your weight or you will be too light " I say to which he responds - no I will be fine mate its ok I-- I do it all the time.

Needless to say underweighted and second dive binned. The next day he turned up with just as much kit, bit rougher and he got seasick. Didn't want to dive, didn't want to stay on the boat and get the mick taken by dougie for having so much kit. Still he was a useful source of spares during the trip. He is now a dm but still brings twice as much kit as everybody else.

[DIVE BUDDHA]

Originally Posted by Twinsetmad

I've had fun with a lovely guy on a few occasions....he's just a bit dizzy some times...
Down at 36m in Stoney and time to go...I signal but he's still sitting on the bottom...
I shout, he looks, pionts at his computer ...but he's not moving..

I get hold of his arm and start frog kick marching him up the road...

after we do our stops and surface, I ask whats going on....?

He said he was doing what his computer told him.. he'd not seen his Vytec say stop before..

he was only trying to do a stop at 36 meters...

Andrew please tell me your kidding!

f.f.s ****

[Twinsetmad]

Originally Posted by DIVE BUDDHA

Andrew please tell me your kidding!

f.f.s ****

No mate....I'm not, you've met him.

[PW1664]

How about a quick check at 6m onya descent and realising ya buddy's got his snorkel in his gob!