Trauma of buddy after bend

[nikk]

Hi
Recently my buddy had a rapid ascent  from 20 meters,this lead to us both being airlifted to Aberdeen so that they could receive recompression treatment.They have since made what appears to a full recovery thank goodness,all they now need to get back in the water is a test for a pfo.
After the incident I was in shock as I was leading the dive and felt responsible for "losing my buddy".
My club were superb they kept in contact and helped get me through what i can only describe as my worst ever diving experience.
The buddy in question was also great at no point was any blame laid at my door.
My problem is two fold.
1. I STILL blame myself to some degree over parts of this incident.
2. Getting back in the water with less qualified divers is proving mentally very stressful for me.(This is not meant to be a slur on newly qualified divers as I know only to well problems can happen to us all)

So is there anything I can do to help myself?
And is there any guidelines for helping buddys of bend divers or worse god forbid come to terms with the incident?
               Thanks
                           Nikk

[Dr Stevil]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (nikk @ Dec. 21 2003,17:46)]So is there anything I can do to help myself?

Just my $0.02 worth

1) Get "back on the horse" as soon as is practicable before it becomes a huge psychological hurdle

2) Take it very slowly till you're comfortable

3) Use the experience and move on, think of it as if you've dodged a bullet, there's no apparent harm done and you're now likely to be thinking "Safety safety safety", which I would say will only do you good.

I had a very minor incident once,though nothing like as serious as airlifts and pots, but that feeling of "Oh s***! What if..." stays with you, hence I probaly sound like a cautious old fart to some, but hey! I quite like this life and intend to stretch it out as far as I can.
HTH
Steve

[Reeve]

<font color='#000F22'>Hi Nikk.

First I hope your buddy does make a full and complete recovery. If they do have a PFO it's not nescessarily the end as it's sealable using key hole surgery.

I have had a similar experience although was not the buddy or DO on the trip. No abnormal ascent as in your case just was unlucky to get a hit. As it turned out it was a PFO, took almost 2 weeks in DDRC before he cold leave and a transpacific flight before he felt normal (something to do with the pressure).

There was a lot of personnel guilt felt by my colleagues regarding the incident. However neither the person or the family had any misgivvings about the incident. As he said it's a risk he was fully prepared to take. He's even been into BUPA to have it corrected so he could continue diving.

My own thoughts on it are that I'm glad it wasn't me. I know that it's a possibility but it's a risk I prepare and plan for. At the end of the day if my gran could do dive would I want too.

gareth.

[Narked@50]

Hi Nikk

Sorry to hear about the incident.

Don't feel bad if it was an accident. We can all be more carefull to the point it would be impossible to dive. Just ask yourself if it was deliberate. If it wasn't, give yourself some slack. When I am utterly perfect at everything then I will be more critical - but then, I couldn't be because I would also be perfectly understanding and accept that mistakes happen.

As for getting in the water with less experienced divers - don't for now. Give yourself some time to build more confidence and do some training so that if a similar situation occured you know you could handle it. Once that you are more comfortable again, stick to dives you know when diving with the less experienced and slowly progress them, then they won't be less experienced any more. &nbsp;

James

[Helen F H]

<font color='#000080'>Hey, i was involved in a similar incident on a dive when my buddy got caught up in his SMB. &nbsp;This resulted in his rapid ascent and us both being shipped to hospital to be checked out. &nbsp;

I remember the next dive as i was nervous, apprehensive about going back in, and i certainly didnt want to be letting off an SMB. &nbsp;Fortunatley a guy in the club knew how i was feeling and made me put up an SMB on the dive. &nbsp;Yes he kinda forced me, but deep down i knew i had to do it for my own sanity.

I have been involved in a couple of other out of the water incidents - the most notable being a good mate of mine getting meningitis/septaecemia on a field trip to Loch Lomond when i was at uni. &nbsp;A doctor had misdiagnosed her, and i spotted it later when her symptoms became worse. &nbsp;We were about 45mins from the nearest A&amp;E and she deteriorated during the journey, i never thought about it then, but i risked my life by keeping her alive. &nbsp;Luckily after a week or so in hospital she made a full recovery. &nbsp;This didnt stop me from tearing myself to pieces over the fact that i didnt see it sooner, that i didnt insist that the lecturer got out of bed when i first said, etc etc. &nbsp;What really bothered me was the fact that i didnt know if i could do it again knowing the true risks of getting the bug. &nbsp;

What i was told, and what im telling you now is:
without you, what would the outcome have been?
You did everything that seemed right at the time, based on the info you had. &nbsp;Hindsight has 20-20 vision, but we dont get that.
Just because something had happened, doesent mean that it will happen again. &nbsp;How many dives have you had without incident? &nbsp;
Take things slowly. &nbsp;Dive with people you are comfortable with, dont push too hard otherwise you will be back where you started.
It takes more balls to say &quot;im not happy&quot; than it does to keep quiet, but if thats how you feel, then say so.
Talk to someone, im always here, so are loads of others. &nbsp;If you want to add me to msn and chat on there (porgthediver@hotmail.com), feel free, if not, PM me and i will give you me phone number. &nbsp;

Take care, and dive safely

[malcolm smith]

Hi,

I think I am missing something here. Your buddy didn't control the most basic skill, bouyancy, shot to the surface, and it's your fault? You perhaps could have stopped him if you were swimming directly above him, if he was behind you rather than at your side, common but not ideal practise, there is nothing you could have done.
Even if you saw him ballooning, catching him would give you both a rapid ascent.
If he was not a raw trainee, and you were his instructor his lack of control is his responsibility, not yours.
At the risk of seeming harsh, his trainers/qualifying agency may feel uneasy at his lack of skill, he may feel mad at himself, but I don't see why you should beat yourself up.
Genuinely sorry if this comes across as uncaring, but this basic skill should not be any kind of a problem for a qualified diver.
I hope he is OK, and best wishes for your future diving.
Cheers, Malcolm.

[nikk]

Thanks for the replys
&nbsp;I think I may need to explain a little more.

&nbsp;On the dive in question it was at the end of a very good dive my buddy has around 50 dives under their belt,so not a trainee.The profile was fairly square 23 mtr max, dive time 30 mins.We were putting up dsmb when they developed floaty feet I tried to chase to 7 mtrs before retuning to 12 and ascending normally. Bottom line basically buddy had poor control of their bouyancy yes...How many of us havent had a problem at one time or another..Im guilty as charged your honor.

As for getting back on the horse:

First dive after this was on holiday in Mauritius.
Instructer was told of my &quot;problem&quot; by myself so after my buddy check his reply was&quot; yep mines the same 1.2.3 lets go &quot;before doing a backward role from boat. Shall I say I had some little words after the dive!

I then decided I needed to do the same wreck as the incident had happened on to &quot;get rid of my Demons&quot;
&nbsp;My buddy is an advanced diver Bsac ,good diver whom i trust.
I have a little flap on way down before giving myself a talking to and getting down to wreck.
10 minutes into dive he develops a freeflow signals that we need to go up ,I offer my octo but he doesnt need it and breathes from his freeflowing reg to surface,great i think Jonah strikes once more but were both ok and get in the boat.

Then another two divers surface and are picked up before another two are noticed on surface.
&nbsp;We approach them and they signal and inform us theyve had a rapid ascent.
One of them on my side has no feeling in legs.
we get them onboard administer o2 and call coastgaurd off they go to Aberdeen.
The emergency services are superb the RNLI brilliant.

Perhaps that may explain a little better why Im feeling like a Jonah.Im trying to come to terms with these incidents,it will take time i realise however if there is a tried and tested way of helping others cope with the guilt( i call these the what ifs) of these type of events i think here or on the other diving boards should feature them
&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Thanks for the support
&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Nikk

[Dr Stevil]

Whoa.... it's not your fault if other divers have free-flows or rapid ascents, don't go getting all superstitious.
Your Mauritius buddy, warm water complacency, very common
Your BSAC AD buddy should have had his own redundant supply at his level of experience, if not then it would have been sensible to take your proffered AAS, a freeflow can empty a tank very rapidly as well he should know.
And the original buddy, well at 50 logged dives that's still pretty much a trainee TMWOT, can't (or shouldn't) be much more than a recently qualified SD at best.  

Think you need to dive with some different folk to get shot of your demons

Chee-az
Steve

[malcolm smith]

Hi Nikk,

you sound like a very considerate and caring person.
Perhaps you do not have a lot of dives behind you?---500/600 plus, and you would perhaps see things a little clearer.
You are a GOOD diver.
Your control is good, you do good predive checks---you are not the cause of, or in anyway responsible for the incedents you have shared with us.
You did as much as anyone could have done in the rapid ascent, and you went a further mile for your buddy than many would have done, PLUS you had the sense and control to do your ascent properly having not been able to catch your buddy.
Be proud of your handling of the situation.
We all have jitters now and then, dive with good divers and you will soon be enjoying it again.
All the best, Malcolm.

[Narked@50]

Hi Nikk

More of the same from Steve and Malcolm.

I would dive with you without hesitation, you have been, at worst, unlucky, at best, a stand up and quality diver.

Qualifications don't always mean that much - a BSAC advanced diver with 50 dives has bearly done the required dives for the grade and does not have the experience to be realy considered &quot;advanced&quot;. Equally, you can get a PADI OW who makes you want to do a buoyancy course when you get home as you feel so embarassed.

Don't let this get to you, re-read the first half dozen replies to your post, they all still apply.



James