IT Warning.

[Finless]

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd,

"If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, "Okay."

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."

The shepherd answers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young man takes an animal and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks, "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?" The young man
answers, "Yes, why not?"

The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant."

"How did you know?" asks the young man.

"Very simple," answers the shepherd.

First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and Third, you don't understand anything about my business..

Now can I have my dog back?"

[KISSer]

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a pink 4x4 screeches to a halt and a fashionably dressed, dark haired young woman gets out and asks the shepherd,

"If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young woman, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, "Okay."

The young woman parks the car, screws up her face and stamps her high heels a few times, then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."

The shepherd answers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young woman takes an animal and puts it in the back of her 4x4.

The shepherd looks at her and asks, "If I can gess the real colour of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

[The Bouncer]

Thought it was a new variation on the blonde theme

still funny tho