Bacteria question.

[Finless]

Can bacteria suffer from DCI? Am I putting my healthy "good for me" bacteria at risk by taking them diving?

It was just a thought I had - maybe whipping (ooer) your private bits down to 50 mtrs and back might severely hurt any nasty bacteria sheltering in any overhangs?

I'm sure this would work - the only down side is, unless you've got detachable privates, you would need to accompany them to 50 mtrs and back so you'll suffer just as much as the nasties!

Maybe some compression pants would work? Care would have to be taken to avoid reverse farting (both rear and, where applicable, front bottoms). My "cork and clench" anti alien probing routine would seem to provide a simple solution to this problem, however, I am worried about the cork ending up in an irretrievable position.

Obviously, a bit more thought is required. If anyone with a front bottom who is prepared to assist in some practical experimentation would pass me their details, I will be happy to contact them in the not to distant future.

All in the interests of science, you understand.

[greekbird]

...tis time for your pills my friend

[John Touhig]

wait 5 mins and then....

Enter Kirstie, Turbanator & Porg for an rapid plunge into the depths of depravity....

[Helen F H]

My god brian you have surpressed yourself this time matey.

[bottle_monkey]

Originally Posted by Finless

Maybe some compression pants would work? Care would have to be taken to avoid reverse farting (both rear and, where applicable, front bottoms). My "cork and clench" anti alien probing routine would seem to provide a simple solution to this problem, however, I am worried about the cork ending up in an irretrievable position.

I would seriously worry about holding in that much gas when coming up from the bottom (excuse the pun). Just think of the irreversible damage you could do having all that gas expand. Infact I am surprised it is not in any of the manuals about off-gasing from the lower regions. I mean we are told not to hold our breaths as ascending so why not are farts.

Kev

[John Touhig]

Helen,

You must have a smutty thread detector.......


John

[Helen F H]

I know of a guy who was hospitalised after a rapid ascent because of a "megafart" - all the gasses in his bowel had ganged together, and when he came up too quick they expanded to a massive size. Ouch. I wonder how big the mushroom cloud would be if you lit it?

[bottle_monkey]

porg

I think that is something green peace might not like. doing that in the seas would be like dumping radioactive waste. you would probably surface to find lots of protesters trying to stop you

[Helen F H]

Originally Posted by bottle_monkey

porg

I think that is something green peace might not like. doing that in the seas would be like dumping radioactive waste. you would probably surface to find lots of protesters trying to stop you

I worried about greenpeace trying to throw me back in when i got my drysuit.
Anyway, if i did it now there would be a bright orange (tornado orange) oil slick for milesssssssssssssssssssssssss.

[turbanator]

Originally Posted by GasMuncher2

wait 5 mins and then....

Enter Kirstie, Turbanator & Porg for an rapid plunge into the depths of depravity....

Dictionary of Smut - Check
Innuendo Thesaurous - Check

3..

2..


1...

Plop.