Market Research

[Mark Davies]

It's time for all you YDers out there to show your worth. One of our members needs your help!

Tim Ingmire (the poster formerly known as Timing) is a Product Development Manager. It's his job to find new ways to market his employer's product, which is milk and cheese. The company (based in Ireland) is currently in need of a boost and Tim is under pressure to come up with something new.

Now last year when we were on holiday together in the Red Sea we came up with Cheesy Peas! It's an idea already in the public domain and could catch on, but Tim didn't think it was up to much.

Vegetable additives was not the way to go. The profits were in cheap to produce but high mark-up pressure molded cheeses - the sort of novelty stuff they sell for kid's lunch boxes.

This year we talked about it again. Tim has just moved over to Ireland to be nearer work and we felt he ought to tap into his local populace for ideas. Further, he should take those ideas and think BIG - look to expand into a global market. So we had to think what section of his local populace has global market connections.

It was obvious - a market world wide with a massive target population - the Catholic Church!

And then we had it! After identifying the market, the product was obvious.

THE CHEESY JESUS! Your Saviour at Lunchtime!

It would be an instant hit. Petition the Pope to get it included in the Holy Sacrament and you've made millions.

Of course you could expand into other religious themed markets. The Buttery Bhudda or the Marjorine Mohammed (for those sad Jedi adherents we could even do Yoda Yoghurt).

Tim is sceptical and doesn't think it will catch on. So what do you think? Is it:

Bloody blasphemy!

or

Yes, I want one!

I couldn't be bothered to do a poll. I'll just judge it by the red and green blobs!

[tom]

great idea, but sadly you've been beaten to it:

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/cheesy_jesus/

[Mark Davies]

Bugger! But they clearly don't have the facilities to put it into production. Do you think they've got a patent?

[JAG]

From what I've heard about Catholic Priests, how's about Cheesy Knobs? (Little round balls of cheese of course..)

[Dinger]

Originally Posted by Mark Davies

Bugger! But they clearly don't have the facilities to put it into production. Do you think they've got a patent?

Mmmm what about a deep fat fried one then.

Dinger

PS terribly blasphemy - if the nuns that used to smack me in school knew I'd be down for 50 lashes

[MATTBIN]

Scuse me but I'm allergic to dairy produce so can I be excused from this one?

Matt

[Tim Ingmire]

Lactose allergy Matt? And no you may not be excused. All opinions are valid. If you wish to make a special request then maybe we could accomodate you.

[tom]

Originally Posted by MATTBIN

Scuse me but I'm allergic to dairy produce so can I be excused from this one?

That gives me an idea - how about genetically modified cheese that doesn't cause allergies? like those cats someone posted recently?

On the subject of GM, if cheese could be made to glow in the dark as well (using those jellyfish genes) I reckon that would be a major selling point.

[Dinger]

Originally Posted by tom

if cheese could be made to glow in the dark as well (using those jellyfish genes) I reckon that would be a major selling point.

Surely though if you went to the jax to take a dump it would then glow - that would be scary as hell. Glow in the dark shi*e

Dinger


PS got this image of a big light radiating from the jax - would be scary

[tom]

useful if the bog light went out though
or for camping trips. you could use poo as marker lights to find your way back your tent after going to the pub