US Mangement Speak Rubbish

[ahar]

I need help. I'm currently 'working from home' doing a "Communications for Results " CBT. It is, quite possibly, the worst CBT I have ever come across. Here's a little sample:

'For example, the statement: "I want to give you a look at where we are headed," lacks the energy that this statement has: "I think we're headed to the top of the pack, to a place no one has ever gone before. '

and

'When rewriting, you may want to get input from others. Remember, the Message helps you focus your content, so don't be afraid to speak up if you believe something from a review is "off Message." '

and even better

your Point X is a statement of what you want, while your Message is a statement of why your listeners should want the same result that you do



Shoot me now.

[Mr T.]

Originally Posted by ahar

I need help. I'm currently 'working from home' doing a "Communications for Results " CBT. It is, quite possibly, the worst CBT I have ever come across. Here's a little sample:

'For example, the statement: "I want to give you a look at where we are headed," lacks the energy that this statement has: "I think we're headed to the top of the pack, to a place no one has ever gone before. '

and

'When rewriting, you may want to get input from others. Remember, the Message helps you focus your content, so don't be afraid to speak up if you believe something from a review is "off Message." '

and even better

your Point X is a statement of what you want, while your Message is a statement of why your listeners should want the same result that you do



Shoot me now.

DO NOT get me started!

[Edit: and what in Christendom is a 'CBT'?]

[Tricky]

Originally Posted by Mr T.

[Edit: and what in Christendom is a 'CBT'?]

Computer Based Training

[Fathoms Down]

Originally Posted by ahar

Shoot me now.

To me it sounds like you are not "attitudinally" ready for that course.

[Mr T.]

Sounds like you need to begin by taking a swim in the lake of you, followed by long-basing some freeform ideas and pro-actively focussing on your chi....


[the silencer coughed...twice...]

[Fathoms Down]

I was in a meeting with a bunch of senior managers a few years back discussing some datacentre planning issues when one of them came out with a classic; "Lets put that one in the lift and see what floor it comes out on.". He smiled and looked pleased with himself as everyone else in the room froze and thought in unison "Did I just hear that?". You could have heard a pin drop!

[ahar]

Originally Posted by Fathoms Down

To me it sounds like you are not "attitudinally" ready for that course.

I hope never to be ready for this:

'When you communicate, you are really a guide. If you are an effective guide, you must be clear on where you want your listeners to end up, what your journey's destination is and where your listeners are starting from'

Which reminds me, DWP have a weekly intranet column where staff send in buzzwords they've heard used and alternative meanings. I'll post some after Christmas when i'm back in the office (or Kate could grab them off the Intranet - they're in the Staff Room section)

[Mick F]

Originally Posted by Fathoms Down

I was in a meeting with a bunch of senior managers a few years back discussing some datacentre planning issues when one of them came out with a classic; "Lets put that one in the lift and see what floor it comes out on.". He smiled and looked pleased with himself as everyone else in the room froze and thought in unison "Did I just hear that?". You could have heard a pin drop!

Ahhh, so he would have been working "where the rubber meets the road" then.

[Mr T.]

Originally Posted by Fathoms Down

I was in a meeting with a bunch of senior managers a few years back discussing some datacentre planning issues when one of them came out with a classic; "Lets put that one in the lift and see what floor it comes out on.". He smiled and looked pleased with himself as everyone else in the room froze and thought in unison "Did I just hear that?". You could have heard a pin drop!

He might as well have just announced: "I'm a twat" and have done with it.

[Fathoms Down]

Originally Posted by Mick F

Ahhh, so he would have been working "where the rubber meets the road" then.

Yep, when he wasn't "Putting the seed in the cage and seeing if the budgie bites." (that was another of his classics).