Chain email search - IT

[Bunny]

Hiya

Does anyone happen to have a copy of the mail that used to do the rounds on the ridiculously dumb questions IT support people used to have to answer?

Having spent at least 3 hours on the phone to my mother (in Germany!) today, rebuilding her PC on the phone after she crashed the bl**dy thing, I would REALLY like to send it to her!!

Thanks.

[Fathoms Down]

I'm sure I have some of those in my email archive somewhere but you could always try the Lycos Viral Email list which lists amusing emails that people send around (viral as in catchy, not as in computer virus BTW)

[Bunny]

Thanks, I'll try that.

[Fathoms Down]

I've found this one so far:

If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers

General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how
to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers -- but
imagine if they did .................


HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"

HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"

CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"

HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and
turns over the engine."

CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"



HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"

HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"

CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?"

HELPLINE: "There's a little guage on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?"

CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?"

HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and
purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."

CUSTOMER: "What!? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I
have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!




HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Your car sucks!"

HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"

HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"

CUSTOMER: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -- and now it won't start!"

HELPLINE: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do
you expect us to do about it?"

CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that doesn't
crash anymore!"


HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because
it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."

HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my
car!"