Loosing heart

[Frog]

Getting hacked off with a work situation at the moment. On 21st July a colleague at the hospital where I work decided to sexually attack me. Although I fought him off (should have hospitalised the little scroat) and then reported it to my supervisor.

Result? I got suspended (as he did), I am due for a second investigatory meeting whereas he has had no investigatory meeting to my knowledge! I mean, I'M the victim FFS, this is my 4th week of suspension, I'll be suspended next week too allbeit on full pay, I'm now beginning to wish I'd let my other half (ex-Army and boxed for his regiment) deal with it and I'd simply kept my mouth shut.

Although my Union rep and mates say he could well have form for this and done it before and a) got away with it then, and b) got away with it where I am concerned if I hadn't reported it. His manager was trying to twist it round to my fault by asking "when did I set out to 'get to know' so and so?" Despite my union rep saying "I've got to hand it to you regard to your statement. It's so well written he's going to find it very difficult if not impossible to dig himself out of this hole."

So, now I'm sitting at home with the best kept garden, best dusted flat, cleanest car, tidiest cupboards, best scrubbed floors, step and best washed windows in the post code area wondering - did I do the right thing? Why is he seemingly getting away with it and I am suspended for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Trying to hold back the tears as I type this and I'm not an emotional person as a rule.

[Conor]

You did the right thing and deserve a lot of respect for it.

I hope it all get sorted soon and you can get back to work, in the mean time is there any diving near by ? (every cloud etc)

Conor

[darthmoll]

Originally Posted by Frog

Getting hacked off with a work situation at the moment. On 21st July a colleague at the hospital where I work decided to sexually attack me. Although I fought him off (should have hospitalised the little scroat) and then reported it to my supervisor.

Result? I got suspended (as he did), I am due for a second investigatory meeting whereas he has had no investigatory meeting to my knowledge! I mean, I'M the victim FFS, this is my 4th week of suspension, I'll be suspended next week too allbeit on full pay, I'm now beginning to wish I'd let my other half (ex-Army and boxed for his regiment) deal with it and I'd simply kept my mouth shut.

Although my Union rep and mates say he could well have form for this and done it before and a) got away with it then, and b) got away with it where I am concerned if I hadn't reported it. His manager was trying to twist it round to my fault by asking "when did I set out to 'get to know' so and so?" Despite my union rep saying "I've got to hand it to you regard to your statement. It's so well written he's going to find it very difficult if not impossible to dig himself out of this hole."

So, now I'm sitting at home with the best kept garden, best dusted flat, cleanest car, tidiest cupboards, best scrubbed floors, step and best washed windows in the post code area wondering - did I do the right thing? Why is he seemingly getting away with it and I am suspended for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Trying to hold back the tears as I type this and I'm not an emotional person as a rule.

You did the right thing, keep your chin up, it will all be sorted out soon.

[Frog]

That didn't occur to me. Shows what a state I'm in not to think of that. Mind you, last week I 'ran away' back to Co. Durham (born in Tyneside) on a coach trip as I decided I wasn't going to sit at home stagnating and bursting into tears. However, I could get a few dives sorted. The proverbial two fingers so to speak? I could go on a dive holiday. As I explained, I was suspended on full pay and don't have any travelling expenses to attend to...

Thank you for that ray of sunshine, *wipes tears away* I'll start looking into that tomorrow. At least I have my furry family at home, they seem to know something is upsetting me.

[sexydivebuddy]

[Buoyant Babe]

You deserve every respect for having the courage to stand up to someone like him. If you don't do it, how long before he attacks someone who can't fight back as well as you did? I hope you kicked his balls up into his throat

I am soooo sorry, however, that you are having such a hard time . I suppose in these days of false accusations the victim is often made to feel like the person in the wrong. I am sure the truth will out. Well done you for producing such an eloquent statement.

Like Conor says, look on the bright side - there's diving to be done girl

Helen xxx

[puddlediver]

Go diving and forget all about it. People who do such things are the pits.

There are fellow divers here on the forum that wish you the best.

Lyvia

[uwila]

Originally Posted by Frog

So, now I'm sitting at home with the best kept garden, best dusted flat, cleanest car, tidiest cupboards, best scrubbed floors, step and best washed windows in the post code area wondering - did I do the right thing? Why is he seemingly getting away with it and I am suspended for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Trying to hold back the tears as I type this and I'm not an emotional person as a rule.

Yes, 100% certain that you did the right thing. Things to think about and be proud of:
- he isn't getting away with it, but your employers have to be careful they don't get blamed so they'll take their time but he will get punished in the end, and you have made that happen.
- he'll have to think twice about doing it again, so you've saved someone else. She won't know you've done that, but we all will.
- if you hadn't reported him you would probably end up feeling even worse, so fighting back will help yourself too.

It's not going away quickly, but the first step to getting over this is to realise that nothing was your fault and whatever steps you took, or didn't take, to stop him were the right ones. I lived with a lady who suffered very badly before I met her and we had many long late nights talking about 'what if' and 'why me' and the thing I learned was that it takes a huge amount of courage to report these attacks, but that once you have you heal a lot faster.

Well done for reporting the b@st@rd, may he rot in hell. You should be proud of yourself

PS if you're ever down my way, I've got a back garden that could do with a clear out

[applepie]

thats mental?!

you did good by reporting it and doing through the proper channels, its a lot harder to do so but i think definitely the right way. although kicking his ass would be excellent doesnt solve much in the long run.

this should go on his record so other employers are aware and i dont know what the usual sentences are in this country but back home, its quite a harsh punishment. this way he should hopefully be prevented from repeating his offence. hopefully in an ideal world he will learn the error of his ways.......if not go back and kick his ass! (just kidding violence is never a solutin)

Now, go and enjoy yourself and have a paid holiday which is what this is (in my mind) for what you have done and stood up for.

[SoggyFox]

You were right to report it to your employers but i'd ask your union rep about going to the police officially, i don't want to put a downer on it but large companies etc do have a habit of trying to brush stuff under the carpet. If it was serious enough for you to report it at work then its serious enough for you to report it to the police. In the long run you could be saving someone else from a much worse fate.

all the best.