Fail your Open Water......

[SoggyFox]

HOW TO FAIL YOUR OPEN WATER TEST

a. Tell your instructor you will race him to the surface.
b. Lie face down and motionless while holding your breath.
c. Loudly proclaim that safety stops are for "wossies".
d. Show up with a set of tables based on your own algorithm "that's WAY better".
e. Spit in your wetsuit and pee in your mask.
f. Ask your instructor, which fin goes on which foot.
g. Tell your instructor there is no way you can lift a cylinder with 2000 pounds of air in it.
h. When asked for your dive plan, you hand over a bundle of travel brochures.
i. wear burberry.

HOW YOU KNOW YOUR BUDDY IS SUFFERING FROM 'Narcs'

a. He keeps staring at himself in your mask.
b. You find him buddy breathing with a shark.
c. He pees in his dry suit.
d. His mask fogs under water and he spits in it.
e. Your mask fogs and he spits in it.
f. He looks at you cross-eyed and slurs his bubbles

SIGNS YOUR BUDDY MIGHT HATE YOU?

a. He gives you the "wait here" sign and you are still on the boat?
b. He "forgets" to close your dry suit zipper?
c. When you give him the out of air signal, he passes you his snorkel?
d. When you indicate you are low on air, he writes on his slate "I'll get you some" and swims off?
e. You give him the "OK" signal and he gives you the finger?

[Lazlo]

"d. His mask fogs under water and he spits in it."

Actually watched a student do that last Sunday. We (mostly) let him off cos he executed a perfect hover while doing it. Quite funny at the time.

[Kirstie]

Originally Posted by SoggyFox

HOW TO FAIL YOUR OPEN WATER TEST

a. Tell your instructor you will race him to the surface.

LOL, this is my favourite trick with Paul - 'Last one on the boat's a sissy!'

[AirAssisted]

Originally Posted by SoggyFox

d. When you indicate you are low on air, he writes on his slate "I'll get you some" and swims off?
?

I like that one!!

[Woz]

f. Ask your instructor, which fin goes on which foot.

We do that with the new trainees. "NO YOU PILLOCK THAT'S ON THE WRONG FOOT"

Then ask them to pass the metric adjustable.

[Adrian Kelland]

We did have someone saying "take a spare weight in your BCD pocket just in case you need it"

[Letz]

Originally Posted by SoggyFox

SIGNS YOUR BUDDY MIGHT HATE YOU?


d. When you indicate you are low on air, he writes on his slate "I'll get you some" and swims off?

PMSL

PS. I take it you added this one

i. wear burberry.

[Ian@1904]

Originally Posted by Adrian Kelland

We did have someone saying "take a spare weight in your BCD pocket just in case you need it"

Take a redundant weight belt in case you lose the first. makes sense to me

[StuartC]

Originally Posted by Lazlo

"d. His mask fogs under water and he spits in it."

Actually watched a student do that last Sunday. We (mostly) let him off cos he executed a perfect hover while doing it. Quite funny at the time.

you beat me to it... and when I saw him do it the 2nd time I thought..? when I saw him licking the lens.....

this one also occurred this weekend

b. He "forgets" to close your dry suit zipper?

[Conor]

Originally Posted by SoggyFox

i. wear burberry.

Do you?