McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card

[Tim Ingmire]

>Subject: FW: McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card - Please complete & Return
>
>
>This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website
>by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humour.
>
>
>
>The company of course does not have a sense of humour and made the IT
>department take it down immediately (for once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at
>the end is worth a read too) ...
>
>McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card
>
>Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
>order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill
>out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
>questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
>new products that best meet your needs & desires.
>
>1. Title
>[_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_]
>Classified [_] Other
>
>First Name: ..............................................
>Initial: ..........
>Last Name:............................................. .
>Password: ................................ (max. 8 char) Code
>Name:............................................ ..
>Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........................
>
>2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
>[_] F-14 Tomcat [_] F-15 Eagle [_] F-16 Falcon [_] F-117A Stealth [_]
>Classified
>
>3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ......../......./......
>
>4. Serial Number: ..........................................
>
>5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
>[_] Received as gift / aid package [_] Catalogue / showroom [_]
>Independent arms broker [_] Mail order [_] Discount store [_]
>Government surplus [_] Classified
>
>6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
>product you have just purchased:
>
> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up [_] Store display [_] Espionage [_]
>Recommended by friend / relative / ally [_] Political lobbying by
>manufacturer [_] Previously attacked by one
>
>7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
>decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>
> [_] Style / appearance [_] Speed / manoeuvrability [_] Price / value
>[_] Comfort / convenience [_] Kickback / bribe [_] Recommended by
>salesperson [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation [_] Advanced Weapons
>Systems [_] Backroom politics [_] Negative experience opposing one in
>combat
>
>8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
>
> [_] North America [_] Iraq [_] Aircraft carrier [_] Iraq [_] Middle
>East (not Iraq) [_] Iraq [_] Africa [_] Iraq [_] Asia / Far East [_]
>Iraq [_] Misc.third world countries [_] Iraq [_] Libya [ ] France [ ]
>Classified
>
>9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
>purchase in the near future: [_] Color TV [_] VCR [_] ICBM [_] Killer
>satellite [_] CD player [_] Surface to air missile system [_] Space
>shuttle [_] Home computer [_] Nuclear weapon [ ] Chemical / biological
>agent [_] Other weapon of mass destruction
>
>10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all
>that
>apply
>[_] Communist / Socialist [_] Terrorist [_] Crazed [_] Neutral [_]
>Democratic [_] Dictatorship [_] Corrupt [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
>11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>[_] Deficit spending [_] Cash [_] Suitcase of cocaine [_] Oil revenues
>[_] Personal check [_] Credit card [_] Ransom money [_] Travellers
>check
>
>
>12. Your occupation:
>[_] Homemaker [_] Sales / marketing [_] Revolutionary [_] Clerical [_]
>Mercenary [_] Tyrant [_] Middle management [_] Eccentric billionaire
>[_] Defense Minister / General [_] Retired [_] Student
>
>13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
>interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
>participating on a regular basis: [_] Golf [_] Boating / sailing [_]
>Sabotage [_] Running / jogging [_] Propaganda / misinformation [_]
>Destabilization / overthrow [_] Default on loans [_] Gardening [_]
>Crafts [_] Black market / smuggling [_] Collectibles / collections [_]
>Watching sports on TV [_] Wines [_] Interrogation / torture [_]
>Household pets [_] Crushing rebellions [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
>[_] Fashion clothing [_] Border disputes [_] Extortion [ ] Mutually
>Assured Destruction
>
>Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
>answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas
>serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
>mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
>extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding
>to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our
>Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>
>Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
>McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department, Military Aerospace
>Division
>
>IMPORTANT:
>This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named
>above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or
>unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense
>of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
>recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is
>not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an
>irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been
>used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it
>does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No
>animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the pit
>bull next door is living on borrowed time. Those of you with an
>overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there
>is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so
>just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a
>complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can
>ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received
>this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and
>place in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Sure, you can trust the Government - ask any indian.
>

[copperband]

Haha, quality.

Cheers,

Paul

[Captain Deco]

excellent.

[Keith L]

Good parody - but it's the disclaimer that I've saved

K