Kids, am I lucky or not?

[Okeanos]

I've got 2 healthy kids, so I am lucky. They live with their mother in Spain, which is both lucky (ex-wife miles away) and unlucky (kids miles away). I have been living the single lifestyle, doing what I want, holidays, diving, cars, motorbikes etc.

While on holiday at Xmas with my kids my daughter let out the fact that she wants to move back in with me when she is 16 (2 years away), to go to a local college and do the International Bacca Laureate (spelling!!). My son also stated that he's not doing so well in Spanish school and would like to come back soon.

So should I consider myself lucky that I will have my kids with me again, or unlucky that I will lose some of the freedom I have become accustomed to, or even more unlucky that they will be at the worst age possible?

[Keiron]

Just decide upon whatever would be best for them, after all they should be more important in the end.

[yazzyfooty]

Originally Posted by Okeanos

So should I consider myself lucky that I will have my kids with me again, or unlucky that I will lose some of the freedom I have become accustomed to, or even more unlucky that they will be at the worst age possible?

Oh I would definitley class myself as lucky if my kids of 28, 31 and 32 wanted to move 'up north', then I would know I would be truly happy. I know its slightly different in that your kids want to actually live with you but at that age they wont need baby sitting so I cant see it greatly impacting on your life style. Maybe less taking ad hoc women home if thats your habit and a bit more having to communicate with your kids about where you are off to. Its not about seeking permission its just something you do when you live with someone.

[Jen]

Originally Posted by Keiron

Just decide upon whatever would be best for them, after all they should be more important in the end.

Completely agree, the only thing for you to consider is your parental duty. Your kids didn't ask to be born.

[Dave_S]

Originally Posted by Okeanos

I've got 2 healthy kids, so I am lucky. They live with their mother in Spain, which is both lucky (ex-wife miles away) and unlucky (kids miles away). I have been living the single lifestyle, doing what I want, holidays, diving, cars, motorbikes etc.

While on holiday at Xmas with my kids my daughter let out the fact that she wants to move back in with me when she is 16 (2 years away), to go to a local college and do the International Bacca Laureate (spelling!!). My son also stated that he's not doing so well in Spanish school and would like to come back soon.

So should I consider myself lucky that I will have my kids with me again, or unlucky that I will lose some of the freedom I have become accustomed to, or even more unlucky that they will be at the worst age possible?

Lucky.

you'll loose some freedom, but you'll gain close regular contact with your family. You can still do your sport just a bit less and you'll have to manage your time a bit more.

Dave

[chrisch]

I would think that kids of that age are much less of a handfull than youngsters. I think you should regard it as good fortune. They will be old enough to look after themselves and very appreciative that Dad's on holiday (again) and they can have their mates round....

Chris

[nigelH]

Originally Posted by Okeanos

So should I consider myself lucky that I will have my kids with me again, or unlucky that I will lose some of the freedom I have become accustomed to, or even more unlucky that they will be at the worst age possible?

Go for it. At worse you miss out on a couple of years of the freedoms you currently enjoy and have to cope with the same sort of problems you had at that age.

Mine are now 28 and 25 and they gave me some grief at times but they have helped me through the blackest hours. Kids are worth the trouble they give.

[jorawley]

very lucky that they still want to know their dad and are healthy....

fair few kids out there under 15 years old with several babies, drug habits, gang members with no intention of going to school.....

[Okeanos]

Originally Posted by Jen

Completely agree, the only thing for you to consider is your parental duty. Your kids didn't ask to be born.

I wasn't thinking about doing it or not, I was just trying to get peoples views on 16 year olds. If they want to come back it's fine with me.

I get on very well with my kids, we had a great time in Thailand, diving and clubbing. I might be a bad influence on them!! Taking a 14 & 12 year old clubbing

But at least they both dive, so that will only restrict my depth for a while.

[Ding Dang Doo]

I'm in a similar situaton.

But please, find out first if there is any underlying reason for them wanting to return - just make sure that they are not trying to 'get back' at their mum, (for whatever reason).

I went throgh the process of instructing lawyers etc. after the same request from my, slightly younger (11 and 13) children made the same request, only to have my hopes dashed at the last moment, when the youngest one decided he no longer was 100% certain.

I've got to go to a meeting now, but if you need a chat about any of this, PM me...