Alzheimers / dementia.

[Finless]

OK - I'll just make this start and be back with some more soon.

[Finless]

My Dad has been suffering from Alzheimer's for a few years. It is ultimately a fatal disease/affliction(?).

My Dad is a real burden for my Mum (both in their 80s) who had a stroke last year.

We all know everyone dies but this is just awful to watch their lives and in misery and despair for my Mum. My Dad is fine, I think, in his own way because he doesn't really know what's happening.

I, and my brilliant partner Angie, do what we can and it is not enough ......... I'm not a 'carer type person' and I find it so hard to deal with ......... I tend to fall back on doing manual stuff for them ............ gardening, DIY, fetch and carry ............

At the moment they get no support beyond the medication.

My Dad's memory (obviously) is badly affected ........... he usually can't remember my name although, after a while, he does remember my elder brother's name.

I typed up a very brief, one sheet of A4, potted history of my Dad's life (where born, family names etc) and the made up a questionnaire for him to fill in. This does seem to help a bit with remembering names but I'm not entirely certain it actually means anything to him beyond knowing the answers to the questions.

It is very apparent that some memory is completely lost as he always struggles with the same questions. I had hoped that he would remember stuff again in a diff bit of the brain ......... I think it helps a bit. Because he was good with maths I have also prepared some papers with simple maths questions and some VERY basic algebra and he seems to cope with these much better.

From my own POV it is very distressing because I can't accept the problem and too often and up shouting (it's a family trait from my Mum) and I feel f*ck*ng awful about it. As I get more used to it I manage to stop myself more but it does lead to some pretty low opinions of myself.

We did originally send him to a 'day centre' but some of the people were almost catatonic and completely gone and it was so depressing that even he, in his incapacitated state, didn't want to go anymore.

At the moment he is happy playing patience all the time and having his roll ups.

We also make him do some very simple jigsaw puzzles (4-6 year old type) with a max of 50 to 100 pieces and he seems to be happy when he's doing this.

Ultimately, I can only see that we will have to sell or let our bungalow and move in to look after them ............. I can't stand the thought of them being put into care .......... certainly nothing we can afford.

I too would be glad to pick the YD collective brain and see if there is anything we don't know about.

One last point, my Mum fought for and got him on 'preceptin(?)' which she is convinced did help. He also gets some vitamin supplements and Vitamin B Complex (from Healthy Direct) which are considered to have supplements for things which, in deficiency, are thought to cause or speed the onset of Alzheimer's.

[Pigpen]

PM sent

[yazzyfooty]

Following negotiation with my elderly aunt and her repeated admissions into hospital the last one a week after she was discharged following fracturing her hip she has finally accepted she is no longer able to cope in her home and has agreed to move in with me.
While she was in with her fractured hip i drove to london weekly to visit her and she would get me confused and not know who i was and she also had no memory of me visiting when we spoke on the phone
I want her out of hospital asap as I do not think staying in elderly ward is doing her mental health much good and is just adding to her confusion. Despite her being in hospital for over 3 weeks this time she has not been seen by a social worker so I have left several message to hospital social worker with no replies so today I faxed her requesting a Social work Assessment. B y doing this it stops the hospital discharging her home without a proper care plan or package and ensures that they have to liase with me as her next of kin.
Friends tell me not to do this and say its too much a liability but I feel as I know my rights and am assertive enough to make sure both mine and her needs are met then its the least I can do for this woman who is my only remaining family I have excluding my children and grand children.

[Finless]

I'm off to search for some forums related to the subject ......... I did look last time I mentioned this but didn't see anything that I thought was very helpful.

Can anybody recommend a good forum.

I'm convinced I've got it because my memory is becoming atrocious .......... sometimes I forget the end of the sentence I am speaking and some strange word comes out that is, I think, a combination of the 2 or 3 words I was thinking of.

Life? You get squeezed out of somewhere cozy (I imagine) and smacked on the arse immediately and all you have to look forward to is death with some sex and drink on the way. It makes you think ..... unless you have Alzheimer's!

[Pigpen]

That's the other thing (re PM), but I too have a terrible memory (I'm 47) and sometimes have trouble getting words out. Because it's in the family I reckon I'm on the way already!

Oh, and try here: Alzheimer's Society website - the leading UK care and research charity for people with all forms of dementia, their carers and families, http://www.alzinfo.org/index.asp?mtc=google&kwd=alzheimer's&gclid=CPjs2oy avosCFQjUlAodF1tyxw, Home

Hope these help.

[Conor]

Hang in there Finless, he is lucky to have family that cares and look after him. Its a small consolation that there is a lot of work on going to understand and better treat the disease. With a aging population it is becoming a bigger issue as we begin to live longer and so it is one of the more popular areas that new drugs are being sought.

[MATTBIN]

Best wishes Bryan, you're doing a great job there, you may only think you are doing minor stuff by doing the heavy stuff but it's all good work. It's horrible watching family and friends die, something we see more and more of as we get that bit older, I really dont know how to console you about that, I havent found the answer yet.

Matt

[Foggy]

Best of luck with your family Finless.

I can't offer much advice, I had a great aunt who's mind was as sharp as a razor but who's body gave up years before she did - her last words were "thats it I've had enough" and she never woke up just passed away. Now my Grandmother suffered from dementia, and somedays she knew me, and on others she complained that she hadn't seen her mum for a while - in some respects I prefferred that state as she didn't know she was simply old; I had to adjust to just go with the flow, not try to make her remember just let her take pleasure in any little thing. My parents found a very good home for her, with people who could understand the Yorkshire accent, and could remember the local area, and I have to say that worked well.

-Paul

PM me for my number if you want to talk anytime

[Sheff diver]

There is an organisation called "Crossroads" (I think). Don't know if it is just a local organistaion, but the arrange for "sitters" to give the carer a break.

The local council have an obligation to provide help in some form. Carers save the Government a shed load of money, and they have the entitlement to help and respite assistance.

May also be worth looking for other day centres. Some are obviously better than others.

Marcus