Political correctness

[JamesW]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to
as "HILLBILLIES."


You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore,


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1 She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."


2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."


3. She is not a "DUMB BLOND" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."


4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."


5 . She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."


6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."


3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."


4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."


5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."


6. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
CLEAVAGE."

[hyweldavies]

I like "bovine herding persons", which avoids the gender-specifity of the more common usage,

Also "circumferentially challenged".

I leave translation as an excercise for the reader