It's the sticks you have to really watch out for!

[Finless]

Sticks and stones break bones and cause one pain but it is the sticks (in the hands or claws of the stick wielders, who may be aliens) that you really have to watch out for! I mean life is hard enough but when you are born you get beaten with sticks ............. some or all or one may be used - the ugly stick or the fat stick, the enormous knob stick, the dick head stick, the diving stick etc etc.

You'd think that once you'd received your initial beating you'd be left alone? Well, you are wrong. I've recently made the startling discovery that the beaters come back and beat you again as you pass your prime with the fat gut stick, weak bladder stick, the floppy knob stick, the bald stick, the doodgy knee stick, the incontinence stick ....................... need I go on?

Obviously some of the early sticks are good ones to get beaten with but all the later sticks seem to be bad sticks? Anyway, that's how it seems to me.

I can't make up my mind whether there is a forgetfulness stick or the loss of memory is a reaction to all the beatings?

Anyway, my advice to all you younger than me peeps is to start putting magazines or newspapers down the back of your pants as you cross the forty threshold!!! If you are not sure how to do this then read books about Billy Bunter .............. or was it Tom Brown's School Days?

I wonder if the 'stickers' use bits off normal trees and imbue them with some arcane power or if they are magic sticks to begin with?

Oh well, according to the ancient Incas or Myans or somesuch the world will end in 2012 (honest, it's on TV) so don't have nightmares!

[colinicky]

Hmmm forget that the screw fell out years ago

[Finless]

Urban Dictionary: ugly stickA beating from the ugly stick will have a much more severe effect than just a casual touch. ... 1) Christ, she ain't half been beaten with the ugly stick. ...
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ugly+stick - 24k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this


Joke/insult 1.2 -

[Pigpen]

Oh Nurse. He's got to the computer again!!

[Finless]

http://www.gqgoat.com/images/post_imgs/uglydog.jpg

http://www.innocentenglish.com/cute-...at-img129c.jpg

Oh, with regards to ugly cats ........... don't ever search Google images for "ugly pussy"

[PeeBee]

I'm with Finless on this, first time for everything, the weak bladder stick is a bugger...the nightly dilemma of "do I have another drink so that the need to pee wakes me early enough to go back to sleep, or try and go without a drink and see if I can make it past 6.00am? decfision is a tough one.

[Finless]

I'm not sure that these are not made up, but:-

Hit with Stupid Stick