Diving innuendo / smut

[big_si]

1. Donating the long hose - The giving of one's lovestick.
2. Tightening Woz's nuts - The gentle twisting of these objects of loveliness before, donning rubber and being covered in wet salty stuff.
3. Would you sort my flaps out? (when zipping up)
4. My BSAC beard is nicely trimmed
5. May I go down with you?
6. May I share your lovely lube?
7. Have a suck on this (donating an octo)[/quote]
8. I was with a man who achieved his first penetration today (wreck specialty)
9. That was a good shag (after observing a kind sea bird feeding it's offspring
10. Can you pull me please? (for assistance getting out of a semidry)
11. Turn me on will you? (my gas)
12. Oh dear, my sausage is a little floppy
13. Diving gets me all wet (obs one for the ladies)
14. Basically you're going to go down and suck on this...
15. I squeezed into a rusty brown hole earlier today
16. Oohh i'm all moist down below(leak in drysuit crotch area)
17. If you need it just grab it and pull it hard(donating an octo)
18. You should see the size of the old boiler i stuck my head in the weekend(wreck diving)
19. Can you help me get my leg over? (getting back onto the boat)
20. Oi ! Don't spray in my box! (hose in use on Scimitar last year)
21. I'm just off home to fondle with the twins(kit fettleing)
22. Just pop these plastic gloves on and I think you'll find your hands will slip in nicely (into your neo gloves)
23. I think I may need a longer screw
24. Do I have to spit? (into my mask0
25. Is it all over my face? (dive snot)
26. Would you like a drink to get rid of that salty taste?
27. Who would like some of my lovely pie? (I bake pies and cakes for dive trips)
28. Can you gimp me up/un-gimp me? (reference to a team fantastic quote when zipping a drysuit up)
29. DIR - Doing It Rectally
30. GUE - Giving Underwater Erec..... well yeah, you know where i'm going
31. ooh that's a big one - (new HID)
32. will you take some photos of me getting wet??
33. will you take some photos of me going down??
34. make sure your dangly bits are tucked away
35. May I stroke it? (on seeing anything from John Perrin)
36. Kiss my shiny metal tat.
37. If I go down with you, you promise me you won't log it.
38. Don't tell my girlfriend that you gave me the crabs!
39. Oooh, Ive just had salty froth sprayed all over my face!
40. I seem to be a tad moist after my latex has split
41. I like to go deep and for as long as possible
42. Have a suck on this and see if you think it tastes funny (bad air fill)
43. Do you want me to pull it off for you? (fin)
44. I'm wet, will you unzip me? (Debbie does Dallas... sorry, what were we on about?)
45. You can do it on your back or face down.. I don't mind, whichever is easier for you (Weight belt removal)
46. now you may want to close your eyes because it can really sting if you get it in your eyes as it is so salty (a hint for whilst doing mask removal drills)
47. if you can't get it in, just pull back a bit, pull back on the sheath and push it in firmly (when trying to attach a suit inflate)[/quote]
48. Spitting on it helps if it won't go in (attaching inflator hose)
49. If you make sure it's nice and wet first you'll find it easier to slip your head in (hood of course)

[swissdave]

1. Donating the long hose - The giving of one's lovestick.
2. Tightening Woz's nuts - The gentle twisting of these objects of loveliness before, donning rubber and being covered in wet salty stuff.
3. Would you sort my flaps out? (when zipping up)
4. My BSAC beard is nicely trimmed
5. May I go down with you?
6. May I share your lovely lube?
7. Have a suck on this (donating an octo)[/quote]
8. I was with a man who achieved his first penetration today (wreck specialty)
9. That was a good shag (after observing a kind sea bird feeding it's offspring
10. Can you pull me please? (for assistance getting out of a semidry)
11. Turn me on will you? (my gas)
12. Oh dear, my sausage is a little floppy
13. Diving gets me all wet (obs one for the ladies)
14. Basically you're going to go down and suck on this...
15. I squeezed into a rusty brown hole earlier today
16. Oohh i'm all moist down below(leak in drysuit crotch area)
17. If you need it just grab it and pull it hard(donating an octo)
18. You should see the size of the old boiler i stuck my head in the weekend(wreck diving)
19. Can you help me get my leg over? (getting back onto the boat)
20. Oi ! Don't spray in my box! (hose in use on Scimitar last year)
21. I'm just off home to fondle with the twins(kit fettleing)
22. Just pop these plastic gloves on and I think you'll find your hands will slip in nicely (into your neo gloves)
23. I think I may need a longer screw
24. Do I have to spit? (into my mask0
25. Is it all over my face? (dive snot)
26. Would you like a drink to get rid of that salty taste?
27. Who would like some of my lovely pie? (I bake pies and cakes for dive trips)
28. Can you gimp me up/un-gimp me? (reference to a team fantastic quote when zipping a drysuit up)
29. DIR - Doing It Rectally
30. GUE - Giving Underwater Erec..... well yeah, you know where i'm going
31. ooh that's a big one - (new HID)
32. will you take some photos of me getting wet??
33. will you take some photos of me going down??
34. make sure your dangly bits are tucked away
35. May I stroke it? (on seeing anything from John Perrin)
36. Kiss my shiny metal tat.
37. If I go down with you, you promise me you won't log it.
38. Don't tell my girlfriend that you gave me the crabs!
39. Oooh, Ive just had salty froth sprayed all over my face!
40. I seem to be a tad moist after my latex has split
41. I like to go deep and for as long as possible
42. Have a suck on this and see if you think it tastes funny (bad air fill)
43. Do you want me to pull it off for you? (fin)
44. I'm wet, will you unzip me? (Debbie does Dallas... sorry, what were we on about?)
45. You can do it on your back or face down.. I don't mind, whichever is easier for you (Weight belt removal)
46. now you may want to close your eyes because it can really sting if you get it in your eyes as it is so salty (a hint for whilst doing mask removal drills)
47. if you can't get it in, just pull back a bit, pull back on the sheath and push it in firmly (when trying to attach a suit inflate)
48. Spitting on it helps if it won't go in (attaching inflator hose)
49. Anything on here written by Vonny(see above post)

[DanE]

1. Donating the long hose - The giving of one's lovestick.
2. Tightening Woz's nuts - The gentle twisting of these objects of loveliness before, donning rubber and being covered in wet salty stuff.
3. Would you sort my flaps out? (when zipping up)
4. My BSAC beard is nicely trimmed
5. May I go down with you?
6. May I share your lovely lube?
7. Have a suck on this (donating an octo)
8. I was with a man who achieved his first penetration today (wreck specialty)
9. That was a good shag (after observing a kind sea bird feeding it's offspring
10. Can you pull me please? (for assistance getting out of a semidry)
11. Turn me on will you? (my gas)
12. Oh dear, my sausage is a little floppy
13. Diving gets me all wet (obs one for the ladies)
14. Basically you're going to go down and suck on this...
15. I squeezed into a rusty brown hole earlier today
16. Oohh i'm all moist down below(leak in drysuit crotch area)
17. If you need it just grab it and pull it hard(donating an octo)
18. You should see the size of the old boiler i stuck my head in the weekend(wreck diving)
19. Can you help me get my leg over? (getting back onto the boat)
20. Oi ! Don't spray in my box! (hose in use on Scimitar last year)
21. I'm just off home to fondle with the twins(kit fettleing)
22. Just pop these plastic gloves on and I think you'll find your hands will slip in nicely (into your neo gloves)
23. I think I may need a longer screw
24. Do I have to spit? (into my mask0
25. Is it all over my face? (dive snot)
26. Would you like a drink to get rid of that salty taste?
27. Who would like some of my lovely pie? (I bake pies and cakes for dive trips)
28. Can you gimp me up/un-gimp me? (reference to a team fantastic quote when zipping a drysuit up)
29. DIR - Doing It Rectally
30. GUE - Giving Underwater Erec..... well yeah, you know where i'm going
31. ooh that's a big one - (new HID)
32. will you take some photos of me getting wet??
33. will you take some photos of me going down??
34. make sure your dangly bits are tucked away
35. May I stroke it? (on seeing anything from John Perrin)
36. Kiss my shiny metal tat.
37. If I go down with you, you promise me you won't log it.
38. Don't tell my girlfriend that you gave me the crabs!
39. Oooh, Ive just had salty froth sprayed all over my face!
40. I seem to be a tad moist after my latex has split
41. I like to go deep and for as long as possible
42. Have a suck on this and see if you think it tastes funny (bad air fill)
43. Do you want me to pull it off for you? (fin)
44. I'm wet, will you unzip me? (Debbie does Dallas... sorry, what were we on about?)
45. You can do it on your back or face down.. I don't mind, whichever is easier for you (Weight belt removal)
46. now you may want to close your eyes because it can really sting if you get it in your eyes as it is so salty (a hint for whilst doing mask removal drills)
47. if you can't get it in, just pull back a bit, pull back on the sheath and push it in firmly (when trying to attach a suit inflate)[/quote]

[quote=purple vonny;720588]8. I was with a man who achieved his first penetration today (wreck specialty)
9. That was a good shag (after observing a kind sea bird feeding it's offspring
10. Can you pull me please? (for assistance getting out of a semidry)
11. Turn me on will you? (my gas)
12. Oh dear, my sausage is a little floppy
13. Diving gets me all wet (obs one for the ladies)
14. Basically you're going to go down and suck on this...
15. I squeezed into a rusty brown hole earlier today
16. Oohh i'm all moist down below(leak in drysuit crotch area)
17. If you need it just grab it and pull it hard(donating an octo)
18. You should see the size of the old boiler i stuck my head in the weekend(wreck diving)
19. Can you help me get my leg over? (getting back onto the boat)
20. Oi ! Don't spray in my box! (hose in use on Scimitar last year)
21. I'm just off home to fondle with the twins(kit fettleing)
22. Just pop these plastic gloves on and I think you'll find your hands will slip in nicely (into your neo gloves)
23. I think I may need a longer screw
24. Do I have to spit? (into my mask0
25. Is it all over my face? (dive snot)
26. Would you like a drink to get rid of that salty taste?
27. Who would like some of my lovely pie? (I bake pies and cakes for dive trips)
28. Can you gimp me up/un-gimp me? (reference to a team fantastic quote when zipping a drysuit up)
29. DIR - Doing It Rectally
30. GUE - Giving Underwater Erec..... well yeah, you know where i'm going
31. ooh that's a big one - (new HID)
32. will you take some photos of me getting wet??
33. will you take some photos of me going down??
34. make sure your dangly bits are tucked away
35. May I stroke it? (on seeing anything from John Perrin)
36. Kiss my shiny metal tat.
37. If I go down with you, you promise me you won't log it.
38. Don't tell my girlfriend that you gave me the crabs!
39. Oooh, Ive just had salty froth sprayed all over my face!
40. I seem to be a tad moist after my latex has split
41. I like to go deep and for as long as possible
42. Have a suck on this and see if you think it tastes funny (bad air fill)
43. Do you want me to pull it off for you? (fin)
44. I'm wet, will you unzip me? (Debbie does Dallas... sorry, what were we on about?)
45. You can do it on your back or face down.. I don't mind, whichever is easier for you (Weight belt removal)
46. now you may want to close your eyes because it can really sting if you get it in your eyes as it is so salty (a hint for whilst doing mask removal drills)
47. if you can't get it in, just pull back a bit, pull back on the sheath and push it in firmly (when trying to attach a suit inflate)
48. Spitting on it helps if it won't go in (attaching inflator hose)
49. Anything on here written by Vonny(see above post)
50. For the best head in Weymouth, book on Scimitar.

[Buoyant Babe]

Shall we just post our individual contributions as we're losing people's comments in our rush to all post at once?


I like to go down with strange men in rubber.

[frosty the snowman]

"When I suck it really hard I get salty liquid in my mouth." (My regulator which has a loose mouthpiece).

[Buoyant Babe]

Originally Posted by frosty the snowman

"When I suck it really hard I get salty liquid in my mouth." (My regulator which has a loose mouthpiece).

Took you long enough to get here didn't it?

[purple vonny]

Get yer kit off ( time to go to the pub)

Spread your legs and take nice slow breaths ( fin pivot)

[big_si]

Give it lots of good little yanks and then one good hard one at the end (zipping up drysuit)

[frosty the snowman]

Originally Posted by Buoyant Babe

Took you long enough to get here didn't it?

Sorry, I've been busy cleaning the crusty deposits out of my scrubber.

[Buoyant Babe]

Originally Posted by frosty the snowman

Sorry, I've been busy cleaning the crusty deposits out of my scrubber.

That's no way to talk about Queen Scallop!







Sorry Jules