Diving innuendo / smut

[Buoyant Babe]

Can you tie me up?

Lashing your set to the boat in a swell.

[JAG]

1. Donating the long hose - The giving of one's lovestick.
2. Tightening Woz's nuts - The gentle twisting of these objects of loveliness before, donning rubber and being covered in wet salty stuff.
3. Would you sort my flaps out? (when zipping up)
4. My BSAC beard is nicely trimmed
5. May I go down with you?
6. May I share your lovely lube?
7. Have a suck on this (donating an octo)
8. I was with a man who achieved his first penetration today (wreck specialty)
9. That was a good shag (after observing a kind sea bird feeding it's offspring
10. Can you pull me please? (for assistance getting out of a semidry)
11. Turn me on will you? (my gas)
12. Oh dear, my sausage is a little floppy
13. Diving gets me all wet (obs one for the ladies)
14. Basically you're going to go down and suck on this...
15. I squeezed into a rusty brown hole earlier today
16. Oohh i'm all moist down below(leak in drysuit crotch area)
17. If you need it just grab it and pull it hard(donating an octo)
18. You should see the size of the old boiler i stuck my head in the weekend(wreck diving)
19. Can you help me get my leg over? (getting back onto the boat)
20. Oi ! Don't spray in my box! (hose in use on Scimitar last year)
21. I'm just off home to fondle with the twins(kit fettleing)
22. Just pop these plastic gloves on and I think you'll find your hands will slip in nicely (into your neo gloves)
23. I think I may need a longer screw
24. Do I have to spit? (into my mask0
25. Is it all over my face? (dive snot)
26. Would you like a drink to get rid of that salty taste?
27. Who would like some of my lovely pie? (I bake pies and cakes for dive trips)
28. Can you gimp me up/un-gimp me? (reference to a team fantastic quote when zipping a drysuit up)
29. DIR - Doing It Rectally
30. GUE - Giving Underwater Erec..... well yeah, you know where i'm going
31. ooh that's a big one - (new HID)
32. will you take some photos of me getting wet??
33. will you take some photos of me going down??
34. make sure your dangly bits are tucked away
35. May I stroke it? (on seeing anything from John Perrin)
36. Kiss my shiny metal tat.
37. If I go down with you, you promise me you won't log it.
38. Don't tell my girlfriend that you gave me the crabs!
39. Oooh, Ive just had salty froth sprayed all over my face!
40. I seem to be a tad moist after my latex has split
41. I like to go deep and for as long as possible
42. Have a suck on this and see if you think it tastes funny (bad air fill)
43. Do you want me to pull it off for you? (fin)
44. I'm wet, will you unzip me? (Debbie does Dallas... sorry, what were we on about?)
45. You can do it on your back or face down.. I don't mind, whichever is easier for you (Weight belt removal)
46. now you may want to close your eyes because it can really sting if you get it in your eyes as it is so salty (a hint for whilst doing mask removal drills)
47. if you can't get it in, just pull back a bit, pull back on the sheath and push it in firmly (when trying to attach a suit inflate)[/quote]

[quote=purple vonny;720588]8. I was with a man who achieved his first penetration today (wreck specialty)
9. That was a good shag (after observing a kind sea bird feeding it's offspring
10. Can you pull me please? (for assistance getting out of a semidry)
11. Turn me on will you? (my gas)
12. Oh dear, my sausage is a little floppy
13. Diving gets me all wet (obs one for the ladies)
14. Basically you're going to go down and suck on this...
15. I squeezed into a rusty brown hole earlier today
16. Oohh i'm all moist down below(leak in drysuit crotch area)
17. If you need it just grab it and pull it hard(donating an octo)
18. You should see the size of the old boiler i stuck my head in the weekend(wreck diving)
19. Can you help me get my leg over? (getting back onto the boat)
20. Oi ! Don't spray in my box! (hose in use on Scimitar last year)
21. I'm just off home to fondle with the twins(kit fettleing)
22. Just pop these plastic gloves on and I think you'll find your hands will slip in nicely (into your neo gloves)
23. I think I may need a longer screw
24. Do I have to spit? (into my mask0
25. Is it all over my face? (dive snot)
26. Would you like a drink to get rid of that salty taste?
27. Who would like some of my lovely pie? (I bake pies and cakes for dive trips)
28. Can you gimp me up/un-gimp me? (reference to a team fantastic quote when zipping a drysuit up)
29. DIR - Doing It Rectally
30. GUE - Giving Underwater Erec..... well yeah, you know where i'm going
31. ooh that's a big one - (new HID)
32. will you take some photos of me getting wet??
33. will you take some photos of me going down??
34. make sure your dangly bits are tucked away
35. May I stroke it? (on seeing anything from John Perrin)
36. Kiss my shiny metal tat.
37. If I go down with you, you promise me you won't log it.
38. Don't tell my girlfriend that you gave me the crabs!
39. Oooh, Ive just had salty froth sprayed all over my face!
40. I seem to be a tad moist after my latex has split
41. I like to go deep and for as long as possible
42. Have a suck on this and see if you think it tastes funny (bad air fill)
43. Do you want me to pull it off for you? (fin)
44. I'm wet, will you unzip me? (Debbie does Dallas... sorry, what were we on about?)
45. You can do it on your back or face down.. I don't mind, whichever is easier for you (Weight belt removal)
46. now you may want to close your eyes because it can really sting if you get it in your eyes as it is so salty (a hint for whilst doing mask removal drills)
47. if you can't get it in, just pull back a bit, pull back on the sheath and push it in firmly (when trying to attach a suit inflate)
48. Spitting on it helps if it won't go in (attaching inflator hose)
49. Anything on here written by Vonny(see above post)
50. For the best head in Weymouth, book on Scimitar.
51. I've got some lube for you nipples

[Buoyant Babe]

I can't possibly spread my legs any wider...



Me, trying to get back on to a small boat by swinging my leg over the side

[Scuttler]

Would you like some KY......I find it helps me ease it in so I don't tear anything

[Scuttler]

Lets buddy up as a threesome.... or .....we can go in a threesome

[Scuttler]

Can you have a look at my knob.....it's a bit stiff

[frosty the snowman]

I pulled it and pulled it, then just as my arm was geting tired it started to shudder and I shot off. Bloody outboards.

[EdHornby]

Are twins on a liveaboard a good idea?

[Neill]

Have you greased your rings specially for this trip - photography prep.

I tuck it in my belt! - oh no - I prefer it strapped to my leg - boys with large (sharp) tools.

Neill

[Neill]

Do you think she's a one or two bag job - Archaeology.