Death By Chocolate After Eight!

[Finless]

A cautionary tale of chocolate and near death experiences.

Late last night, as in 'early this morning', I decided to have a quick munch on a few After Eight mints. Although mint doesn't really go with Stella I was still thoroughly enjoying a lip smacking choccie moment and torturing my senses by allowing the mints to melt on my tongue.

Whilst eating my third mint I managed to breath in at the wrong time and inhaled some choccie mint and was faced with that trickiest of problems, not being able to breath. After much coughing and choking I was just able to inhale minuscule amounts of air, which was just as well as lungs can only give so many coughs before needing a refill. My breathing sounded like a dead body coming back to life in an old style horror movie. It was definitely a moment of concentration and contortion trying to find a position to get some much needed air into my lungs.

Eyes watering, I staggered into the bedroom and collapsed (voluntarily) on to the floor by SWMBO's side of the bed. Unaccustomed as SWMBO is to late night treats from my good self, her initial displeasure at being awakened quickly turned to worry and then passed to glee as she helpfully beat me forcefully on the back in an effort to help.

It seemed like it took forever but was probably only a couple of minutes before I was able to get a proper breath.

Anyway, a few words of warning:-

New divers, if the water is choppy, keep your reg (or snorkel) in your mouth. I have breathed in water on the surface before and was unable to climb back into the boat without help.

It is often said by ladies that a minute on lips means a lifetime on the hips, well, in this male's case it nearly meant a lifetime under ground. And, no, I am not referring to cave diving! I suppose the only exception to this minute rule for women is men? Confused, let me give you lovely ladies a clue, the phrase could be altered slightly to "an inch on the lips won't affect your hips". Aren't us men helpful and good for you? Curiously, several inches in the proper place can lead to severe weight gains! Ladies, the choice is yours!

As for the poor previously discarded "next mint", I went back, picked it up from the carpet, de-furred it, and returned to the pleasures of CAREFULLY munching chocolate.

Not that I am after any sympathy but I would like to point out that my poor bruised back could do with a rub down by a good lady wielding a wet Sporting Life.

Exaggerate? Moi? Well, not too much!

[Scubee]

Much as i love chocolate, I refrain from eating it on boats, or before i get on in case the sea is a bit rough. Not only is chocolate very bad for fish, but it also stings the throat on the way back up.

I have deepst sympathy for you, Finless. It is awful to think that an After Eight (one of my favourites) could cause such trauma. I have a suggestion which will prevent it from ever happening again.... don't eat any more. Instead, send them to me and i will dispose of them safely.

[Finless]

Originally Posted by Scubee

Much as i love chocolate, I refrain from eating it on boats, or before i get on in case the sea is a bit rough. Not only is chocolate very bad for fish, but it also stings the throat on the way back up.

I have deepst sympathy for you, Finless. It is awful to think that an After Eight (one of my favourites) could cause such trauma. I have a suggestion which will prevent it from ever happening again.... don't eat any more. Instead, send them to me and i will dispose of them safely.

My sofa was flat calm and who says chocolate is bad for fish? I'll bet a fish never said that!!!

[B]

Sadly I can not ditto the concern and share of your troubles that Scubee can as I do not actually like After Eights...

However... should you suddenly develop a taste for Thorntons Lemon Souffle ones please feel free to again choke and then forward to me for disposal of the rest...

LOL

B x

[witchieblackcat]

Originally Posted by Finless

...Although mint doesn't really go with Stella...

It does at my house

[Madfish]

Originally Posted by Finless

I decided to have a quick munch on a few After Eight mints. Although mint doesn't really go with Stella

Sorry Finless, you brought it on yourself - After Eights are girlie choccies and you must have been 'borrowing' Mrs Finless's. I am also inclined to red blob you for such mixing them with Stella - a disgraceful lapse in taste.... However, send me the rest of the box and I may reconsider!

Dianne

[Finless]

Originally Posted by Madfish

Sorry Finless, you brought it on yourself - After Eights are girlie choccies and you must have been 'borrowing' Mrs Finless's. I am also inclined to red blob you for such mixing them with Stella - a disgraceful lapse in taste.... However, send me the rest of the box and I may reconsider!

Dianne

I was only trying to save SWMBO's hips from further expansion! Usually, the "really good chocolates" are hidden in the kitchen. All the stuff left out is not liked by SWMBO. I hardly ever get the good stuff.

[Scubee]

Originally Posted by B

Thorntons Lemon Souffle

I have to agree that choclate and beer of any kind don't mix.

[frosty the snowman]

I don't eat a great deal of chocolate but probably would if it looked like this...




...a life sized statue of well known MILF Nigella Lawson made from chocolate. Yummy. The burning question is of course, where would I start...?

[David]

on the left