Carrot jokes required

[IanD]

2 snowmen standing in a field 1 says to other can you smell carrots?

[ShinyD]

Nothing to do with carrots or golf, but I found this funny...

How do you circumcise a whale?

Send in four skin divers.

[Adrian Kelland]

Is the carrott male or female Digs?

I suspect male, but not for obvious reasons.

[SilvaFish]

There were two carrots walking down the road, a big carrot and a little carrot.

On the other side of the road they see their friend cabbage in his cabbage patch.

Big carrot says: "Let's go visit cabbage on the other side of the road."

Little carrotsays: "But there is so much traffic here I'm afraid I might get

run over."
Big carrot says: "Nonsense, just wait for a break in the traffic and run as fast

as you can."
Big carrot sees a break in the traffic and runs over to cabbage. He then calls

to is friend to try. Little carrot gets ready, sees a break in the traffic and runs

across the road. Unfortunately there was a big truck coming and little carrot

gets squashed in the middle of the road. Big carrot feels really bad and scoops

his friend up and takes him to the hospital. The doctors perform emergency

surgery. After several hours the doctor comes out. "I have some good news

and some bad news." Big carrot says: "Ok doc, go ahead, I can take it." The

doctor says, "Well the good news is that your friend is going to live, but the

bad news is he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."

[DanE]

What's a Vegetable's favourite martial art?
Carrotee.

I just made that up.
dan

[Neil M]

Originally Posted by DanE

I know a joke about a bit of string, if that is of any use?

dan

only if funny

[Sparky750]

Rabbit walks into a butchers and asks "have you got any carrots?"
butcher says this is a butchers we don't sell carrots
next day the rabbit goes back in have you got any carrots
butcher replies i told you yesterday we dont sell carrots
next day rabbit goes back in have you got any carrots
butcher says fuck off i told you yesterday we dont sell carrots if you come in here again asking for carrots i'll nail your paws to the counter
next day the rabbit goes back in "have you got any nails?" he asks
butcher replies "no i don't have any bloody nails"
rabbit says can i have some carrots then

This is the only joke a friend of mine knows and tells it every time he's pissed

[Scuttler]

A guy goes into the bar with a carrot in his ear. He orders a drink. The bar tender wants to mention the carrot but doesn't.

Next day the same guy with a carrot in his ear goes to the same bar and orders a drink. Again the bar tender wants to say something about the carrot but doesn't.

The 3rd day the same guy and the same carrot go to the bar and order a drink. As the bar tender serves the man he can't stand it anymore. He says to the patron, "Hey Mack, you know you got a carrot in your ear? The patron says to the bartender, I can't hear you because I've got a carrot in my ear.



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How do you make gold soup?? Answer take 24 carrots

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A rabbit went to a general store in the countryside: "Do you have any carrots?"
The clerk replied: "Sorry, don't have any"
So the rabbit went away. He came back the next morning, and again asked: "do you have any carrots?" And the clerk replied again: "Sorry, don't have any"
This happened every morning for about a week. Then one morning, the clerk was getting a bit p****d off about the rabbit coming over every morning, so he said to the rabbit: "Now look, we don't sell any carrots here, you ask for carrots one more time, I'll nail you to the wall from your ears!"
The rabbit stood still for a while, and went away.
The next morning the rabbit came to the store again, and asked: "Do you have any nails?"
The clerk was a bit confused, but replied: "No, I just run out of nails, sorry little fella."
The rabbit: "Well do you have any carrots, then?"


Edit: Beaten to it!

[Juz]

Originally Posted by DanE

I know a joke about a bit of string,

How long is it?

Juz

[onthetrain]

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot???????????......