England v Argentina

[Jay]

:lol:
:yelclap: :luxhello: :cheering: :boozer:

[Driftwood]

Typical high class reporting in the Daily Record

HOW TO MAKE AN ARGENTINA STRIP Jun 7 2002








MODEL Pamela David appears naked except for a painted-on national strip on the cover of an Argentinian magazine - in a bid to kick-start the sex drive of the football-crazy male population.

Latino lovelies are failing to score during World Cup - as their men are too tired for sex.

Due to the time difference, matches kick off as early as 2am, so guys are sitting up all night.

Now magazine La Primera has revealed a decline in Argentina's sexual activity by 65 per cent since the World Cup began - 35 per cent more than when they won it in 1986.

One wife complained: "My husband is too excited about football before the matches to concentrate on sex - and by dawn, he's too tired."

But one Buenos Aires barman said: "I've got no problem. My girlfriend stays up to watch the matches with me and there are lots of interesting things we can do at half-time.

"I have to admit, if Pamela was my girlfriend, I'd be happy to turn off the TV."

 

See <a href="http://www.icscotland.co.uk/dailyrecordimages/frontpage.jpg

for" target="_blank">http://www.icscotland.co.uk/dailyrec.../frontpage.jpg

for</a> who they are talking about - nice striker!

No jokes about ball control please! :nuts: :shocked: :fire:

[darthmoll]

40 degrees-Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Scotland sunbathe.

35 degrees-Italian cars won&gt; '&gt; t start.
People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees-Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool &nbsp; hats.
People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

15 degrees-Californians begin to evacuate the state.
People in Scotland go swimming.

Zero degrees-New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Scotland have the last bbq before it gets cold.

10 degrees below zero-People in Miami cease to exist.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.

20 degrees below zero-Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

80 degrees below zero-Polar bears begin to evacuate &nbsp;the Arctic.
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone &nbsp;&quot; Winter Survival &quot; classes until it gets cold enough.

100 degrees below zero-Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps.

173 degrees below zero-Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Scotland get frustrated when they can't thaw &nbsp;their kegs.

297 degrees below zero-Microbial life start to &nbsp;disappear.
Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 degrees below zero-ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Scotland start saying &quot; chilly, you cauld an aw? &quot;


500 degrees below zero-#### freezes over.
SCOTTISH PEOPLE SUPPORT ENGLAND IN THE WORLD &nbsp;CUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Davey Willo]

:lol:

Ya just gotta luv the jocks..... :biggrin:

[Driftwood]

</span>

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]Quote: from Dave Williamson on 1:11 am on June 9, 2002
:lol:

Ya just gotta luv the jocks..... :biggrin:

<span =''>

Yeah, don't you just lurve the originality. I've now been emailed that twice, seen it on D******t, and now here - Gee do you think they don't like us?

I'm okay, live close enough to the Borders to be considered acceptable!

[darthmoll]

do you think they don't like us?

its only a joke, dont be so parinoid. We love you guys.

[Davey Willo]

I was watching the England/Argentina match with a Scottish guy from work, I turned to him and said...
&quot;So who yer cheering for Ian&quot; he mused for a moment and said... &quot;well I can't stand the Argies.....&quot;
Lol!!! that about say's it all really dunnit  :biggrin:

[Driftwood]

</span>

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]Quote: from darthmoll on 9:20 am on June 12, 2002
do you think they don't like us?

its only a joke, dont be so parinoid. We love you guys.

<span =''>

Paranoid? Me? Who told you that? Tell me! It's the spies, they're everywhere. It's a conspiracy!!! :outtahere:

[Jay]

Just because you're paranoid DOESN'T mean the bastards aren't out to get ya!