joke

[Eddie]

Three men: one American, one Japanese and an Irishman were sitting naked in the sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.

"That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained,

"That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

Paddy felt decidedly low-tech. So as not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive.

He stepped out of the sauna and went to the toilet. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his arse.

The others raised their eyebrows.

"Will you look at that" said  Paddy, I'm getting a fax."

[Paxo]

The thoughts of Chairman Miaow :-

I started with nothing and have still got most of it.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

If all is not lost then where the #### is it?

Its hard to make a comeback if you've never been anywhere.

The difference between a rut and a grave is merely the depth.

Now I've finally got my head together, I find my body is falling apart.

Its easier to get older than wiser.

My wild oats are now prunes and All Bran.

[Mr T.]

Same vein:

" Quick! Look-out! BEHIND you!!........What is that??!!.....Oh, it's OK - it's only your career............."