Crap Friday joke

[Jay]

A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following:

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 apple
1 banana
1 orange
1 plum
1 peach
1 grapefruit
1 tomato
1 lettuce
1 cabbage
1 baking potato
1 kraft single
1 samosa
1 vegetable pakora
1 muesli bar
1 pie
1 single serving of cereal
1 single frozen dinner
1 single frozen pizza

The checkout guy looks at her, smiles, and says, "Single, huh?"

The girl smiles sheepishly and replies, 'How'd you guess?'

He says, 'Because you're f**king ugly!'

[parahandy]

Tonto and the lone ranger are riding along the plains and Tonto suddenly leaps from his horse and presses his ear to the floor.

After a short pause he declares, "Buffalo ...... come!"

The lone ranger is amazed and says, "Amazing Tonto, how can you tell ??"

Tonto replies "Face ..... sticky."

[Jay]

That joke is so much funnier when I look at your avatar!!