The Stella Awards

[Driftwood]

THE Stella Awards rank alongside the Darwin Awards - given annually to the individuals who do the most for mankind by dying in strange circumstances. Stellas go to individuals who win the most ridicullous lawsuits. They are named in honour of 81 year-old Stella Liebeck, who suffered third-degree burns after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on her lap. She won &#362.9million in damages.

January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded &#36780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the toddler was Miss Robertson's son.


June 1998: 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won &#3674,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. He apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.


October 1998: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning and he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and he found himself locked in the garage for eight days. The burglar survived on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance, claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.


October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded &#3614,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard. The award was less than Williams sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by his shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.


May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, &#36113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because she threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.


December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This happened as she tried to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the &#363.50 entrance fee. She was awarded &#3612,000 and dental expenses.


January, 2002: Police in Vermont stopped a man and after running his name, it came back that there were warrants for his arrest from Florida. Before the police could arrest him, he fled into a nearby forest despite it being the middle of winter. The police searched for him, but were unable to find him. Three days later, the suspect turned himself in and was taken to the hospital with frostbite. He ended up having several fingers and toes amputated. He is now suing the police. Why? The police didn't look for him hard enough!

He said in an interview: "If they had searched harder, they would've found me'. He's accusing the police of dereliction of duty leading to his loss of limbs.


November 2000: Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. In November 2000 he purchased a brand new 32ft Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having joined the motorway, he set the cruise control at 70mph and calmly left his seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the Winnie left the road, crashed and overturned. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this.

He was awarded &#361,750,000 plus a new Winnie. Winnebago then changed their handbooks on the back of this court case, just in case there are any other complete morons buying their vehicles.


Not forgetting the woman who put her pet poodle into the microwave to dry it out after going out in the rain.....

Only in America could you get people that :silly: , :crafty: or just plain :classic:



(Edited by Driftwood at 5:38 am on Aug. 28, 2002)