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Non Diving Posts: Discuss A Friday Joke in the Non-Diving Related Forums forums: A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'...

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 30-08-02, 11:03 AM
Davey Willo's Avatar
Davey Willo Davey Willo is offline
"Arise....Sir 'Pukealot'"
  

Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Ingleby Barwick - Stockton
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A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the
counter and said
"Hi, I'm lookin' for a job".
The man behind the counter replied
"Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy
man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll
have to drive around in a big black mercedes, uniform provided.
Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided
and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her
overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year".
The scouser said
"You're bullsh**ting me!"
The man behind the counter said
"Well you f***in' started it!"
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 30-08-02, 04:47 PM
andyc andyc is offline
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andyc saw the sea in a book once
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oi calm down calm down, or i will come round and nick your hubcaps
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Old 31-08-02, 11:28 AM
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Eddie Eddie is offline
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Eddie saw the sea in a book once
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Oooooh your on dangerous ground Davey boy....I heard the same joke but it was a Jordie...
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old 31-08-02, 02:08 PM
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Davey Willo Davey Willo is offline
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Location: Ingleby Barwick - Stockton
Posts: 1,786
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Jordie? so thats a bloke from Jordan then :biggrin:

Actually Geordies are just as dodgy as Scousers, I wouldn't stop to ask directions in either town, the car would be on bricks before you stopped rolling.. ;)
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Old 01-09-02, 11:22 AM
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Eddie Eddie is offline
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Eddie saw the sea in a book once
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You try living in Holland for 23 years and only speaking and writing Dutch! and see how bad your English spelling gets! (thats my excuse and I'm sticking to it!) sorry Davey boy, your right, Geordies it is!
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Old 01-09-02, 03:31 PM
DennisM DennisM is offline
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DennisM saw the sea in a book once
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LOL, excellent!
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Old 02-09-02, 10:17 AM
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Oi, Williamson - remind me to trap your head in the door when I eventually meet you - you snivelling little scroat!  :bash:  :whack:  I'll get my rats to eat your drysuit for that!   :mouse04:  Disgruntled Tyneside Frog.  :bawling:
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Old 02-09-02, 11:11 AM
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Tolerance, people, tolerance......

As Michael Caine says, in Austin Powers Goldmember:

"There are two things I hate and will not tolerate in people:

1. People who have no respect or tolerance for other people's cultures...

2. The Dutch......"
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old 02-09-02, 11:26 AM
Davey Willo's Avatar
Davey Willo Davey Willo is offline
"Arise....Sir 'Pukealot'"
  

Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Ingleby Barwick - Stockton
Posts: 1,786
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Lol.. I wondered how long it'd take you to pipe up Frog...

I'm looking forward to meeting the rodents too.... next doors cat is looking kinda scrawny and could do with munching on a fat prize winning doe

Bren... quality quote mate... I have yet to see the movie but hopefully this week...
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Old 02-09-02, 02:27 PM
Frog's Avatar
Frog Frog is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Lennoxtown, Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 1,298
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You know what you can do with next doors cat.  Scrawny or not Williamson!  Kreesa is NOT fat.  Unlike you - I've heard reports that when you walk your backside looks like 2 dogs fighting under a blanket...
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