One-liners You Wish You\'d Trotted Out.

[Mr T.]

Hey Troop,

Try these beauties on for size. Enjoy.

Things To Say When You're Stressed

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unf*ck you!!!

2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!

3. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

4. Well this day was a total waste of make-up.

5. Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?

6. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.

7. Do I look like a f*cking 'people person'!

8. This isn't an office. It's #### with fluorescent lighting.

9. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

10. I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me.

11. YOU!!... off my planet!!!

12. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose.

13. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control.

14. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

15. And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be.....?

16. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

17. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

18. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

19. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

20. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

21. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.

22. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.

23. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.

24. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

25. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.

26. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it.

27. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

28. Wait... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

29. Chaos, panic and disorder... my work here is done.

30. Ambivalent? Well yes and no.

31. You look like shit. So that style's in right now, is it??

32. Earth is full. Go home.

33. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?

34. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

35. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

36. You are depriving some village of an idiot.

37. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

38. When? How about never? Is never good for you?

[Jay]

Or :

1. When they circumcised you, they threw away the best bit

2. When you fell out of the Ugly Tree, you must have hit every branch on the way down

[andy2tanx]

The best bit of you ran down your mothers leg!  Too far?

[Jay]

You must have come from an athletic family to have jumped out of the bucket!

[Maltese Falcon]

One hundred million sperm ... and you won? Life is a real bitch 'int it? :tired:

[Ammers]

Hello Yorkshire Divers

:wavey:


"Your place or mine?" - Both, you go to your place and I'll go to mine!

"Your place or mine?" - Oh! I didn't realise two of us could fit under your rock!

"Your place or mine?" - Sorry I don't date outside my species.

:rofl2:

:outtahere:

[skener]

were youre mother and father married ? or did they just go halves on a bas###d!!