Should I report my colleague for taking drugs

[Buoyant Babe]

Originally Posted by SoggyFox

basketball and hose?

You lost me Sogs, I'm an innocent, you'll have to explain...

[SoggyFox]

Originally Posted by Buoyant Babe

I'm an innocent,

oh really?

basketball and hose, could you get one through the other with nothing more than the power of your lungs.......

i remember someone talking about a similar thing with McDonalds milkshakes.

[Buoyant Babe]

Originally Posted by SoggyFox

oh really?

basketball and hose, could you get one through the other with nothing more than the power of your lungs.......

i remember someone talking about a similar thing with McDonalds milkshakes.

I have a healthy set of lungs.

[Scuttler]

Originally Posted by Buoyant Babe

I have a healthy set of lungs.

I'll be the judge of that...................SCUBEEEEEEE......where's your waps?

[jimbob]

You're not alone Ian.
There's a lot of it about, I just had the weirdest cold call I've had for a while.
Must be a strong batch out there somewhere.

Good afternoon, Fminor.
Hello can I speak to someone about your franking machine?
We don't have a franking machine so that's easy.
I've been phoning every six weeks, why has no one ever told me that?
I've no idea, but we don't have one, we've never had one, you must have the wrong company.
That's Fminor isn't it?
Yes that's right.
Why has no one ever told me that then?
Are you sure you've got the right company.
Yes I've got the right company, I've just said it's Fminor haven't I?
Yes it is, but we've never had a franking machine
No one has ever told me that and I've been phoning every six weeks.
Well what sort of conversations have you been having then?
About Ink and cartridge refills for the machine
Well you can't have, because we don't have one
Are you saying I'm lying?
No, but you must have the wrong company.
No I haven't, you are Fminor
Yes, but I 'm sorry you must be mistaken, who did you speak to?
I spoke to a lady in reception
We don't have a reception, there's only sales and accounts. What did she say?
She said you wanted two inks and a (something?) and that she was in the general office admin section.
Well we don't an admin section
Are you saying I'm lying, it's here in my notes?
What did she sound like?
What do you mean?
Where was she from? Did she have an accent?
I speak to hundreds of people every day I can't be expected to remember....
Well I'm sorry but we only have one lady here and she's French and the head of Export so I doubt you spoke to her.
You're saying I'm lying...
Alright then, are you saying I'm lying? That we do have a franking machine but I'm pretending.............

She hung up.

[Scubee]

Originally Posted by Scuttler

I'll be the judge of that...................SCUBEEEEEEE......where's your waps?

My what?

[Woz]

Hello we have a special deal on laser toners. Can I put you down for 10?
We don't have any laser printers
They are special high capacity ones
We don't have any laser printers
At the moment they are 50% off
We don't have any laser printers
Can I take a credit card number for them?
We don't have any laser printers
So I put you down for 10 then
Fcuk off (I hang up)

Brr brr.
Brr brr.

Hello I was just talking to someone about your laser toner cartridges and I got cut off.
No you fcuking didn't you fcuking imbecile now fcuk off.

I love calls like that.

Now Bob Savage deals with them and we get calls like:
Hello can I speak to Bob please?
I'm sorry you can't he's out
Well I was speaking to him the other day about your printing needs
No you weren't he is a made up person to field junk calls you are lying and I am going to call your boss
...
...
...
Ummmmmmmmmm right so I can't speak to Bob then?
No you fcuking can't

[SoggyFox]

Originally Posted by Scubee

My what?

Waps, baps, jubblers, jubblies, love pillows, melons, gazongas, hooters, jugs, norks, jumper lumps etc etc etc......

[Okeanos]

Originally Posted by Scuttler

From: Scuttler
Sent: Monday, October 22, 2007 11:06 PM
To: x
Subject: y

x,

I’m talking to a about y and I want to get a bit more information. Can you give me your take on what the requirement is and also can you advise if z are in a position to supply anything?


Thanks,

Scuttler

We will be exhibiting at Heli Asia.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: x
Sent: 23 October 2007 21:48
To: Scuttler
Cc: d
Subject: RE: y


Scuttler,

When and where is Heli Asia? Do you know if b has this show in their budget or is this being funded entirely by c?

x

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Scuttler
Sent: Wednesday, October 24, 2007 3:12 AM
To: x
Cc: d
Subject: RE: y

x,

Is this the answer a question with a question routine!!!!

Heli Asia is today and tomorrow. I have no idea who is funding it because d booked it before he left the company but I suspect it’s us.


Scuttler

We will be exhibiting at Heli Asia.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: x
Sent: 24 October 2007 18:26
To: Scuttler
Subject: RE: y


Well if it is today and tomorrow then the answer is no. The pop up display that d has been using only shows your Products.


If you have a box of those little CDs, all of our brochures and presentations are on that CD.


So where you at now?


x

I don't see where the problem is!

You ask him if he can supply anything.
He asks if it was budgeted for.
You tell him someone else booked it.
He says nothings been arranged for today and tomorrow. He's only got the pop-up display.
I don't see where drugs have entered the conversation!

I get customers ringing me up asking if their wood is in, I have no idea who they are, what wood they ordered or who with, I wonder if they think I am on drugs because I don't know?

[jimbob]

Woz, sorry to poach your staff but is Bob Savage looking to change jobs? We might have a vacancy.