I've been munched on!

[Finless]

Last night I played a league snooker match, well, "played" might be a bit strong but I was there getting my arse kicked. Natch a number of ales were sunk and because of the early start I only had a fried egg sarnie (mmmmm, lots of butter and crusty bread ) before leaving home and the supping of said ale.

When I got home, slightly the worse for wear, I nuked a curry and, having eaten it, crashed out on the sofa. This morning I had a big red blotch on my left man boob, a lump above my left eyebrow and a vaguely itchy feeling all over. The man boob problem was the worst because, with the swelling, I wasn't far from needing a training bra!!!

SWMBO bravely stepped in to examine my red bits and could see no signs of bite marks. This left me pondering if I had suffered an allergic reaction to my curry (terrifying thought, imagine a world without beer and curry) or my new eye drops. Naturally I eventually decided I had cancer and went to work feeling v/sorry for myself although it did give me a genuine reason to keep feeling my nadgers all day.

On arrival home SWMBO bravely approached the quivering flab that surrounds my svelte real me and pronounced that the bite marks have now become visible.

I am shortly off to:-

1. Cut my nails to stop me shredding my skin.
2. Have a prolonged look for the critter that did this.
3. Torture it slowly and as painfully as I am able.

Oh well, I'm worth a grope on the left side for a while ladies, should you want to know why we boys enjoy it so much. .

Also, SWMBO also said that anumber of girls at work had suffered from or heard of similar insect problems and that there is a number of insect nasties around with a taste for human flesh at the moment. I wish the cold weather would arrive and kill the little gits. Actually, do you know, I think she brought the thing home off one of her flea bitten mates and I'm going to make her really suffer in a moment! I think I'll ask for sex and demand she stays awake!



Anyone else suffered or am I just a flea bag?

[Ferg3333]

When I got back from cyprus my legs, arms and back were covered in bites, to save your finger nails (and skin) try Eurax cream available at your local chemist. This saved me ripping my flesh off. Just my 2 cents.

[colinicky]

I suggest you volunteer to examine all the women at SWMBO's work to ascertain if there are bite marks or not

[Stesh]

Finless,

If you were bitten by one of these:-


I'll stick to showers and avoid baths, if I was you...

[Finless]

Originally Posted by colinicky

I suggest you volunteer to examine all the women at SWMBO's work to ascertain if there are bite marks or not

From what I've seen, I don't think so.

[Finless]

Originally Posted by Stesh

I'd stick to showers and avoid baths, if I was you...

Oh no, I think I've already got a web slinger! Well, it fires pretty quickly and not always when wanted and it certainly is sticky.

[Richard Mason]

Originally Posted by Finless

From what I've seen, I don't think so.

And no point either. It's probably bed bugs.

[Finless]

Originally Posted by Richard Mason

And no point either. It's probably bed bugs.

Only if they are bed bugs with insomnia, I was unconsc ........ er, asleep on the sofa.

If there any bugs out there with intergnat access who are reading this thread I want you to know you have made an enemy today. Tell your friends I said "no mercy". You have been warned.

[Richard Mason]

Originally Posted by Finless

Only if they are bed bugs with insomnia, I was unconsc ........ er, asleep on the sofa.

You daft bugger, that's the whole point, they sneak out and bite you at night; what do you expect; bedbugs chasing down vast herds of wildebeeste as they surged across the Serengeti?