Dating...

[Jules]

Originally Posted by hogen-deifar

The question is, is it ok to "do it" on the first date? Boys and girls opinions welcome!

I wouldn't, because for me it's got to be in the context of a relationship, I would probably feel rubbish if I did and then didn't hear from him again. So I prefer to wait and see if there is a genuine bond between us. All the guys I have dated since becoming single again at the age of 40 have respected this and been happy to wait a few weeks.

Apparently I am worth the wait

[frosty the snowman]

Originally Posted by hogen-deifar

The question is, is it ok to "do it" on the first date? Boys and girls opinions welcome!

Strangely I was having this very discussion at work today. I'm firmly of the opinion that if two consenting adults want to then why not? Particularly as with every year that passes, I've got less time to enjoy life! I don't ever remember a good sh*g 'spoiling things'...

[Jules]

As the saying goes "two divers, three opinions!"

[Letz]

Originally Posted by Ahoy

Well, she wants to meet again: i'm, baffled but somewhat pleased!
S.

Excellent Sounds to me like she was playing it cool as I'm guessing you contacted her to enquire about a 2nd date? Marvellous. Have a lovely second date and make sure she realises you're interested in her (and not just for jiggy jiggy) but don't push anything. Wait for at least another date for that

Originally Posted by hogen-deifar

The question is, is it ok to "do it" on the first date? Boys and girls opinions

The 352 million dollar question If ya wanna, ya wanna. But remember, men are a hypocritical bunch and while they want and desire you if you give in to the lust they will then probably not consider you worthy of further wooing. So if you really like him, take your time.
Personally I'm inspired by personality and unlikely to lust someone from a purely physical point of view (which was a PITA when single and not getting any) I therefore have to take time to get to know them. Not my choice after that If it clicks it clicks

Originally Posted by Jules

Dating in your 40s is harder but my only advice would be to actually enjoy the dating and don't rush into everything being too heavy. I love being taken out on dates.

jules

Fortunately for me I wasn't really interested in dating and found myself falling for someone without that stuff. Plenty of time to catch up on the dates

[JasonP]

Originally Posted by Sixsquid

The 352 million dollar question If ya wanna, ya wanna. But remember, men are a hypocritical bunch and while they want and desire you if you give in to the lust they will then probably not consider you worthy of further wooing.

I don't think this is true. With most blokes, if they're keen on someone, shagging on the first date is not going to put them off. If they're not interested in a 2nd date, it's coz they weren't keen enough to see you again anyway but thought they might at least get a shag out of it.

Jason

[hogen-deifar]

Originally Posted by Sixsquid

The 352 million dollar question If ya wanna, ya wanna. But remember, men are a hypocritical bunch and while they want and desire you if you give in to the lust they will then probably not consider you worthy of further wooing. So if you really like him, take your time.

But can't women be just the same? Why should men have the monopoly on a high sex drive? (again, don't read anything into my post - just having a conversation!!!!) And like Frosty said if you're both consenting adults and want it, why not? As long as you both know the rules? And I reckon a FB can sometimes be a safer bet than a partner??? Can't it??

Originally Posted by JasonP

I don't think this is true. With most blokes, if they're keen on someone, shagging on the first date is not going to put them off. If they're not interested in a 2nd date, it's coz they weren't keen enough to see you again anyway but thought they might at least get a shag out of it.

Jason

Good comment!

It's interesting to hear the male perspective and the women too! And both were pretty predictable, actually!!!

[Letz]

Originally Posted by hogen-deifar

But can't women be just the same?

That's why I said "if you really like him. Also, if you're hoping for something more 'intimate' the wait is worth it. That applies to men and women"

Why should men have the monopoly on a high sex drive?

They most certainly don't, they just have the 'double standards' Chances are they haven't decided to value you on one date so your end of the sex could be crap anyway. Depends on the guys' sexual ego. Remember, our sexual needs are often somewhat different to men's

And like Frosty said if you're both consenting adults and want it, why not? As long as you both know the rules?

Ha ha ha "the rules" The ever changing rules and I expect it's the females that cause most of the change

And I reckon a FB can sometimes be a safer bet than a partner??? Can't it??

Depends where you're at and what you're into. Only you can know that, and whether you'll end up hurt

Good comment!

It's interesting to hear the male perspective and the women too! And both were pretty predictable, actually!!!

Mmm, except I feel you misunderstood mine and it very much depends on the individual, where they are in their lives, what previous experiences they've had and whether they're kidding themselves

[lloydwatkin]

Originally Posted by hogen-deifar

The question is, is it ok to "do it" on the first date? Boys and girls opinions welcome!

Like I said in some cases I practically insist on it, especially if I've spent in the region of £70 on the first date.

I've been on some dates where as soon as you get there you both know its not going to work like that. Different people have different attitudes to sex but if you think shes up for it whats the harm in asking. Its always good to be friends with dates that didn't work out they might have hottie friends and it can never hurt to have too many female friends in the old address book

[lloydwatkin]

Originally Posted by Sixsquid

...the sex could be crap anyway...

The sex with me is always good. How do I know...because I'm always satisfied afterwards!

[Ahoy]

Originally Posted by Sixsquid

Excellent Sounds to me like she was playing it cool as I'm guessing you contacted her to enquire about a 2nd date?

No, I didn't, it was a welcome surprise! With a limited reference to the new direction the thread has taken, I now need to decide whether to 'go for it' at the next meeting

I refer, as a gentleman, to going for a curry, of course...
S.

P.S. sadly, I really am referring to my addiction to curry!
P.P.S. Cheers all!