Extracts from Church News Letters

[Mr T.]

Subject: FW: Church Bulletins
real life extracts from Church Bulletin Boards:-

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on 24th October in the Church. So ends a friendship that began in their schooldays.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is ####?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and desert will be served for a nominal feel.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The Church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5pm - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement, Friday 7pm. The Congregation are invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm in the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the Church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

[Driftwood]

'stard!

Where was the coffee warning? I've got to dry off my monitor and keyboard now :lol2: