Ever launched a RHIB?

[Dominic]

 Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
  hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were
  having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
  their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost
  every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an
  hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking
  someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
  revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine,
  the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and
  pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
  underneath. He came up choking on water, he was
  laughing so hard.
 
  NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE ....
 
  Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer. !

[Dr Stevil]

Only in America, yee-har...

[Seadart Mark]

Ahhh bless....

You gotta love them Americans.... All the gear, no f*#ing idea.  

[Dr Stevil]

I was in a dive shop in Florida, put the goods on the counter the (very cute) female assistant took my CC & was waiting for the transaction to finish when she came back and said "Is anyone serving you?"
Me: "Err... yeah,  you!"
Asst: "Are you sure ?"
Me "Doh!"

Same shop a couple of days later buying stuff and asked for the discount we were told we could get cos we were with the National Underwater Research Program
Asst: "The What...?"
Me:  "It's part of NOAA..."
Asst: "Is that some kind of dive club?"
Me: "No, its part of your Government..."  sigh...

(Edited by Steve W at 1:55 pm on Jan. 16, 2003)

[Seadart Mark]

True story.

American Military on exercises in Lunerburg (think that was the place), West Germany, circa late 70’s.

Americans take possession of brand new mobile missile launcher (designed to launch tactical missiles etc) and drive to live firing exercise. Position launcher ready for firing.

Officer in charge has no idea how the thing works, but he has a manual. (tee hee)
Office then reads from the manual to his crew.

All set to go………. FIRE.

Missile launches a treat, screaming through the cold war skies of West Germany, and lands some half a mile away.



Unfortunately still attached to the mobile launcher. A 40ft heavy goods type vehicle.



The Officer in charged had skipped a vital page of the manual.

SECTION 7.9 – IMPORTANT……..Release locking pins before firing.

[peter k]

Another allegadly true military story. The traffic police are out doing speed traps on the Inverary road when a fighter jet flies over. The radar on the gun locks onto the plane and registers a phenomenal speed. The police phoned up the nearest RAF base and tried to lodge a complaint about there jets flying over when they were doing traps. To which the RAF guy told them "Well our pilots tend to object to radars locking onto them. It gets them kind of jittery and you don't want a jittery pilot with radar seeking missiles on board"

Peter

[Dr Stevil]

Oh...how cool would that be :lol2:

[Andrew]

LOL!!

That Plane one is fab!!

(Edited by Andrew at 5:09 pm on Jan. 16, 2003)

[Driftwood]

Heard a slightly longer version of Peter's Tornado story....

Basically the same. PC is pointing his hairdryer down the road at a speeding car (yup, Inverary Road I heard too) when suddenly said gizmo starts to make funny beeping noises, displays a speed of 2,700-odd mph, locks up and dies. 3 seconds later a Tornado on low flying buzzes overhead.....

The PC decides to be smart and writes a letter to the RAF, detailing the time, place and speed and because the plane was following the course of the road asks for the pilot to be informed he will be let off with a caution this time for speeding, failing to stop and damaging police property (radar gun died)...

A reply comes from the RAF.

Dear PC......

Thank you so much for bringing this matter to our attention. We have contacted the pilot concered and he has confirmed that a threat warning was detected by his GR-21 Tornado on the ...... We have accepted his apology for the damage to your equipement but would like to stress this was not intentional. We would also like to point out that the GR-21 is equipped with an automated thread detection / attack system which your radar triggered. If the plane had been armed, this would have caused the launch of two radar-guided air-to-surface missiles.

Therefore, we ask you to please refrain from trying to catch our pilots speeding in the future (when airborne)

RAF .....

Yikes!

[Dominic]

When it comes to speed camera humour...

http://jason.fdnet.com.au/humour/speedcamera.cfm

The bottom pic is of the luckiest driver on Earth.