Radio phone in

[Rob Evans]

  Start the week with a smile ...
  Just imagine sitting in traffic on  your way to work
  and hearing this.
 
  Many Chicago folks DID hear this on the WBAM FM
  morning show in Chicago. The DJs play a game where
  they award winners great prizes. The game is called
  "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask  if
  they are married or seriously involved with  someone.
  If the contestant answers "yes", he or she  is then
  asked 3 random yet highly personal  questions. The
  person is also asked to divulge the  name of their
  partner (with phone number) for  verification. If their
  partner answers those same  three questions correctly,
  they both win the prize.  One particular game, however,
  several months ago  made the City of Big Shoulders drop
  to its knees  with laughter and is possibly the
  funniest thing  I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it
  all went  down:
 
  DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard
  of 'MateMatch'?"
 
  Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
 
  DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip  to
  Orlando, Florida if you win. What is your name?  First
  only please."
 
  Contestant: "Brian."
 
  DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
 
  Brian: "Yes."
 
  DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're
  what?"
 
  Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
 
  DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First
  only please."
 
  Brian: "Sara."
 
  DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
 
  Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
 
  DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
 
  Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
 
  DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time  you
  had sex?"
 
  Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
 
  DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
 
  Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
 
  DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
 
  Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
 
  DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
 
  Brian: "About 10 minutes."
 
  DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one  would
  ever have said that if a trip wasn't at  stake."
 
  Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
 
  DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at
  o'clock this morning?"
 
  Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
 
  DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
 
  Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom  is
  staying with us for a couple of weeks..."
 
  DJ: "Uh huh..."
 
  Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower  at
  the time."
 
  DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
 
  Brian: "On the kitchen table."
 
  DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than  the
  previous hundred times I've done it. Okay  folks, I
  will put Brian on hold, get this wife's  work number
  and call her up. You listen to this." 3  minutes of
  commercials follow.)
 
  DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"
  (touch tones.... ringing....)
 
  Clerk: "Kinkos."
 
  DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
 
  Clerk: "This is she."
 
  DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on
  the air right now and I've been talking with Brian  for
  a couple of hours now."
 
  Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
 
  DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us.
  Brian knows not to give any answers away o r you'll
  lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of
  'MateMatch'?"
 
  Sarah: "No."
 
  DJ: "Good!"
 
  Brian: (laughing)
 
  Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the #### are you up
  to?"
 
  Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions  honestly,
  okay? Be completely honest."
 
  DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3
  questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's
  answers, then the both of you will be off to  Orlando,
  Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World.  Sea World.
  Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole  deal. Get it
  Sarah?"
 
  Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
 
  DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
 
  Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before  Brian
  went to work."
 
  DJ: "What time?"
 
  Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
 
  DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it  last?"
 
  Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
 
  DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is
  trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last
  question, Sarah. You are one question away from a  trip
  to Florida. Are you ready?"
 
  Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
 
  DJ: "Where did you have it?"
 
  Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them  that,
  did you?"
 
  Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
 
  DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
 
  Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing
  with us and..."
 
  DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?
 
  Sarah: "In the ass....."
 
  After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to
  take a station break.....