The future of nursery ryhmes!!!!!!!!

[aqua0]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh shit, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
...But she didn't wear that one often.

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.

Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
forgot her pill,
and now they have a son.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

[fatlaz]

How about this, it's an oldy but a goody


Puff the magic dragon lived on a rocky shelf,
He had noone to play with so he played with himself.
Once he had a girlfriend but she was pretty rough,
now he has a boyfriend and that's why he's called puff.

Not massively pc, sorry.

[broady]

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
She put them on the mantlepiece
To see if they would...fall off

Think I learnt that when I was 8 !!

G

.

[Horndog]

Im just thinking how interesting christmas dinner would be if i taught my nephew (age 7) one or two of these

[Foggy]

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty dumpty had a great fall
He didn't get hurt, he didn't get bumped
Humpty dumpty bungy jumped


-Paul