Peter Kay Funnies

[parahandy]

For those who may have missed some of these from the comic hero:

1.Nobody ever dares make cup a soup in a bowl
2.You never run out of salt
3.The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
4.Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
5.You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

Classics lol

[MATTBIN]

Bush does no.5, saw it today on the telly, it was a black highland something or other, about the same size as our cat. I hate small dogs, dogs should be Labrador size or bigger, anything smaller should be shot.
Matt

[Hobby]

I've got to admit that I'm not a lover of small dogs on the whole.There are some nice ones though,but they're not very mainstream.Fran's Mum's got a bloody Shit-tzu-Jack Russel cross that constantly runs round your feet yapping and jumping on you trying to lick your face.Bloody thing,it ran over the couch one day and shoved it's nose in our dog's ear and generally started annoying her.The swine thing just would'nt stop until Molly(our dog)did her best crocodile impression,now she's relegated to be locked away when we visit her Mum.I mention this as if we come to any of the Anglesey dives I may well have the hound in tow,Bullies are OK with people but one of my others once chewed through my mate's umbilical on a job...that went down well!
Hobby.

[MATTBIN]

Bullies - Staffordshire Bull Terrier. We had one, Dad found it in his (London) taxi, big shiney nuts, the works. Let any body in the house but no-one out. Mad as a March hare it was. The owner never did ask for it back, which was a shame Dad thought it was a thorough bred thing and we'd get a handsome reward.
Matt

[Dr Stevil]

Small yappy-type dogs, how f***ing annoying! I used to go out with a girl who had a Jack Russel, the #### thing was so possessive it could open fully closed bedroom doors! Strangely enough the relationship was not a long term one...

anyhway, I say I say I say boyyyy... Dubya is a "good ol' boy Texan Redneck" isn't he, and GOBs are supposed to have BIGdogs aren't they? ANOTHER thing he can't get right, is there no beginning to the man's abilities?
Chee-az
Steve


(Edited by Steve W at 5:42 pm on Jan. 29, 2003)

[peter k]

There is only one kind of dog I want. Weimaraners. Lovely big short-haired grey things. They're about 4ft high so nobody messes with you which is just as well because the dogs would probably run a mile anyway. Ever since I firsy saw a pair of them about 5yrs ago I've had my heart set on them. And they are quite good at disposing of the wee yappy fu**ers.
Peter

[Jay]

</span>

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]Quote: from Steve W on 5:37 pm on Jan. 29, 2003
Strangely enough the relationship was not a long term one...

<span =''>
Yep - nothing like waking up to the delights of oral sex only to throw back the blankets and find its the dog having a pop! Or is that just me? I'll get me coat ...

[Diving Dude]

I`m reading out these posts to my massive Shit-tzu, well he's actually quite big for a shitz. I'm now going to take the bow out of his fur on his head.

[Hobby]

Sorry chaps she's an English Bull not a Staffy,she's a lovely old thing and you may even meet her.
Jay,I worry about you at times!At school we actually caught a &quot;lad&quot;(S.Bentley) stuck up to his tatties in a Jack Russel.It was among some garages people used to hide when skiving etc.and he looked really put out when a gang of 5t formers wondered around the corner.There was the usuall momentary pause as the situation hit everyone,not at least the dog..tart...
&quot;What the f**k are you doing you sick git?&quot;
The response was amazing and I though pretty good for off the cuff,
&nbsp;&quot;Ahem,I was having a tug and it fell off the roof(of the garage)onto me knob!&quot;
Unbeleivable but true!Some school I went to.I knew a lad who used to lick his Granny's poodle's nads for a dare too!
Hobby.

[MATTBIN]

Hobby
dont they look the same, ugly bleeders with pointy faces and slitty eyes. Theyre so ugly they are almost nice looking really. How can anything that ugly not be a lovely creature and have redeeming features.
School - approved?
Matt