FIRE SERVICE TO COVER FOR ARMY IN IRAQ

[Sean]

My friends in the military take a little revenge...

FIRE SERVICE TO COVER FOR ARMY IN IRAQ

In the face of industrial action by members of the armed forces, the government has announced that the Fire Service will, as an interim measure, carry out military operations in Iraq. The army, who have demanded a 40% pay increase on the basis that their job has become rather more technical since 1945, will begin strike action next Thursday unless a compromise pay deal can be agreed in the meantime. It is understood that they will spend their time standing around little bonfires, rubbing their hands together and waving at passing vehicles who honk their horns at them.

Crack Fire Service personnel, highly trained in playing darts, brewing tea and sliding down poles, are understood to be on standby to take up front line operations. Using their "red goddess" vehicles instead of tanks, they will race towards Iraqi lines and attempt to annoy the enemy into surrendering by making a lot of noise and spraying them with water.

Prime Minister Tony Blair has already stated that the Fire Service strike proved that a vastly undermanned service with limited training and unsuitable equipment can perform the duties of a well-trained, well-equipped and well-manned professional force equally as efficiently and without loss of life.

When it was pointed out to him that the bright red fire engines might make an easy target for enemy fire, Mr. Blair said, "Never mind, we've got too many firemen as it is - er, is that camera running?"

Asked for his comment, Britain's partner in the coalition in the war against Iraq, US President George W. Bush, said "Ooh, can I have a go on the siren?"

[Jay]

I think I'll leave it to Andy2tanx or Nitrox to reply in full ...

(Jay retreats to a safe distance ...

[andy2tanx]

GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! lemme at 'em!!

[John Holmes]

:outtahere: :whack:

Fuckin ####!! I'm off to find Hussain - its safer in Iraq than on this site today!!! LOL!!!

STEF - you stay behind and soothe the natives!!

HAAAHAAAhhaaaahhhhaaaaa!!!!
Inshallah!

John

[nitrox]

h'mmm, i presume your a squaddie, or maybe just a civvy wannabe! having served in both of the service's you mention i can see both sides of the tale and dont particularly agree with some of the actions.
i choose to take your post as an attempt at humour and hope that im correct in my assumptions.
if indeed you were actually being serious i will take it upon myself to perform one of the following british army punishments!..................

rip your arms off and beat you round the head with the wet ends.

poke your eyeballs out and skullfuck you.

rip your head off and shit down yer throat.

you may be fammilliar with some of these already??

should you choose to be guilty of my charge contrary to section 69 of the nitrox act 1970!......

report for ROP's at my door at 0600hrs sharp with your boxer shorts on back to front.

failing that ill strap ya to the drill tower and give you a 25bar soaking with high expansion foam whilst the boys practice knots and lines with yer pubic hair!

regards

and sleep well

nitrox

nulli secundum

[Sean]

Ohhhhhhhh Have I hit a sore point…  Yes I am a X  squaddie…. And it was posted in jest.. However seeing were here lets put this in perspective.  I was driving around London in the 1978 Strikes… Snotty little sprog driving around in a death trap (green goddess) for about £5000.00 a year..  2 months later walking the streets of Ireland, for the same money…  
I don’t object to anyone fighting for what they deserve, what I object to is “lets put the squaddie’s in they have plenty of time on their hands”..  I don’t know the in’s and out’s and quite frankly don’t care..  But the message the public are getting is that the brigade won’t modernise and try to reduce costs, however you still want 40% get real.
Lets face it you do a great job Fire, Floods, Accidents and so much more but you are loosing public support.  
I’ve seen poor bastards die for half the money you guys are on…  and yes!!!  I know its what we sign the dotted line for..  But spare a thought for the kids that are doing your job with little if any of the training, crap equipment, crap pay, why can’t they use your kit it belongs to the public at least they would stand half a chance at putting fire out….Oh but I’m sorry you don’t want that to happen.  And I got that from a Fire Fighter who I was in the army with (one #### of a gamble playing with our lives to prove a point)

next week they could be in the gulf or anywhere else this government think that we should go to war with… And before that crops up yes I been there and done that both Falklands and the Golf.. Even had a few free trips to Bosnia.. No Diving though (bummer)

Now that’s being serious and if you feel the need to and I quote

“rip your arms off and beat you round the head with the wet ends.

poke your eyeballs out and skullf**k you.

rip your head off and sh*t down yer throat.

you may be fammilliar with some of these already??

should you choose to be guilty of my charge contrary to section 69 of the nitrox act 1970!......

report for ROP's at my door at 0600hrs sharp with your boxer shorts on back to front.

failing that ill strap ya to the drill tower and give you a 25bar soaking with high expansion foam whilst the boys practice knots and lines with yer pubic hair!”

That I would like to see,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I don’t like threats  :maniac:

Sean

[nitrox]

hi sean, i knew it was humour and so was my reply.
i personally agree with what your saying , but then reason the brigades wont let your average squaddie is the fact that it take's more than an HGV licence to drive a dennis sabre! 450 gallons of water and lockers full of heavy kit that is balanced as well as it can be but still not sufficiently!not forgetting adjustable ride suspension and a crew of six! you only have to look at statistics of fire applianc'es going over on blue's at speed to see the reason, a brigade driver doe's a very intensive course and even then has to notch up 500 miles returning from shouts etc before he is allowed to drive on blue's and two's, i hope this shed's some light on your problem.
as for threats ..... there were none,,, these were all common drill instuctor saying's when i served.. 86...93.

as for pay and holding the country to ransome ?? .... i agree totally! hope this clears thing's up.

regards

nitrox  

(Edited by nitrox at 7:08 pm on Feb. 3, 2003)

[andy2tanx]

Right thats it!  I declare YD a industrial action free zone, unless it's a joke!!


BTW Nitrox, is it true, you jacked due to the reaction of the shift?  Wanna give us a call mate?  07779 834829.

[nigel]

Well my 2 cents
1. get everything out of this goverment you can
2. True story yesterday I escorted a green godess to a shout at 00.35 hrs teleprinter messsage read house fire well alight persons trapped I arrived with the GG to find a detached bungalow burning from end to end thank god all persons accounted for and the army went to work putting out the fire as comminications as well as escort vehicle I made it a make pumps three job. reply from JOC your on your own we will sent you a ba crew when one is available the moral to this story is dont let the bastards trim down cover any more fight for everything, there may not be much coverage in the news at the moment but you have a lot of support to a man sorry person on my R/T shift.
nigel

[nitrox]

fair play!!... they do deserve more dosh!! but you wont beat the fat cat system that is the UK!!! ...but holding the country to ransome and watching people die is not the way to go about it!! how can anyone stand up and shout that im underpaid on twenty grand a year?? sure its a dangerous responsible job as i well know, but there's ways and means of doing thing's and standing proud and trying to squeeze presscott aint gonna work! your average squaddie earn's 15k a year if he is lucky!! and he is expected to clean up the sh*t of a band of people who choose to strike!!... and why??? because he had his power's of strike revoked!!! and is now a mug that pick's up the sh*t of everyone in the public sector who aint happy with there pay!!... i did the ambulance strike and the binmen's strike  and thats certainly not what i joined the army for!! and then i did another tour of boggyland and came back and went straight to saudi!..... for fifteen grand a year!!! firefighter's dont put out fire's every day!! they don't risk there neck's everyday!!.. although different time's are upon us and the threat is increasing.and for those of you whom think a firefighter spend's all of his 15 hour nightshift working hard ... your wrong!! fire's are on the downslope theseday's due to CFS and the like however other thing's are on the up... decom calls and rta's for example.
sure they are very expert in their field's and deserve more, but its only because they can strike that its in yer face and allover the papers.

they do deserve more money..but so do the british army and all the other service's for that matter.

fairplay for all!.. or non at all!

except the dibble that is!! cos most of them are corrupt ignorant c**t's that dont deserve any respect!.. let alone a wage.

regard's

troxmeister