Logic

[Dr Stevil]

> Column From The Observer - 26 January 2003
>
>
> Terry Jones (of Monty Python fame) Sunday January 26, 2003 The Observer.
> England.
>
> I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's
> running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really
> pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.
>
> Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me
> queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me,
> but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his
> place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well
> hidden. That's how devious he is.
>
> As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good
> sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the
> street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by
> one.
>
> Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the
> police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need
> evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. They'll come up
> with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a
> pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his
> plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly
> murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range
> of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until
> recently that's been a little difficult.
>
> Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is
> run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!
>
> That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and
> children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in
> peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. Mr Bush
> makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that
> Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction -
> even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification
> for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing
> Iraq.
>
> Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens
> of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly -
> look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them
> all out. My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply
> using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her
> up. Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough
> reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the
> whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand
> over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and
> interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over
> nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom
> come. It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in
> contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.
>
> You know you're on shaky ground when a member of Monty Python adopts your
> logic.

[Jay]

Its frightening, isn't it? The power of allegory to highlight the ridiculous.