Non-xmassy house buying question

[big_si]

Background...

We've found a house that (I thought) we both love and see great potential in and have started playing around making offers to try to strike a deal.


Question...

When buying your house were you and your partner both 100% sure that it's the one you want or was one partner less sure than the other and it's caused some rows...

Did the other person take convincing? Did you just give them some time to make their mind up? Is it just cold feet as it's such an important purchase?

Some discomfort in the Big Si house at the mo... Not feeling very festive


Hope everyone else is having a happy Christmas!

[LisaR]

When Ex & I first went to view a house with a view to buying, my 1st words were...''Not a cat in hells chance am I buying this, '' 6 weeks later we moved in

[hogen-deifar]

There's no right or wrong answer to this one. We could all sit back in our comfy sofas giving you advice and at the end of the day it's between the two of you.

The best thing (IMHO) to do is NOT argue or either of you get angry and stubborn and one want the other doesn't. Life isn't quite like that. If you forced the person who's not happy to go for it then resentment will probably start to build.

Sit down together with a pen and pad and draw a line down the middle. At the top of one side put "PRO's" and the other put "CONS". And do exactly what it says on the tin. Find out what you both like about the house, what you both dislike about the house and if the CON list is, all in all, longer than the PRO then DON'T buy the house!!!

The main thing to remember is that neither of you will win this argument. There will always be one loser (in your eyes). It's all about compromise and perhaps if you sit down and discuss it like suggested you may find out why the other party doesn't like it and then you can either persuade or you can be persuaded to change your minds.

Relationships are all about compromise and if either of you totally put your foot down you're gonna spend the rest of your lives arguing, so TALK to each other!

HTH???

x

[Scubee]

When we were looking for the 'marital home' we decided that if either one was not happy, we would find somewhere else. we made an offer on a really lovely house. Nice big bedrooms, well kept garden, I couldn't find fault. The ex decided after a day or two that he didn't like it enough to buy it, so we found somewhere else. The one we eventually bought was his preference (after looking at about 45 houses I would have moved into a tent!), but i could live with it. As HD says, it is all about compromise. Find out what is the sticking point, and either figure out a way to change it, or make it less important for them.

[Narked@50]

Only buy it if you both are 100% behind it.

This is one of the biggest purchases you'll ever make, it's not easy or cheap to change your mind later. I think you have to have both parties behind it if you are going to be happy there, and this should be the most important thing. If one or other is not realy that keen they will spend years tolerating it or trying to find a reason to move again, not realy what partners should do to one another in my book.

James

[Ian@1904]

Our current house we bought in 1993. At the time it was filthly, two dogs, one cat, the owners looked like tramps. The brown carpet in the bathroom turned out to be pink when we moved in and more

However the house in is a lovely cul de sac, great in a nice village and had been fitted with first class double glazing. The windows let in lots ogf light which is what I like in a house.The first six months were hideous: blocked drains, fleas, a ban on bare feet until we changed the carpets-grim. After we had cleaned, done the bathroom, and then the kitchen the house is fab.

[Diving Dude]

Buy it. You could fanny about for years trying to find the perfect house, meanwhile your wasting money on rent and house prices keep going up.

[SilvaFish]

Originally Posted by Diving Dude

Buy it. You could fanny about for years trying to find the perfect house, meanwhile your wasting money on rent and house prices keep going up.

Aren't house prices starting to come down now?

[nigelH]

Before buying this place little wife and I looked at a lot of places but although some had some good points nothing sparked.

We walked into this one and looked at one another and went "ooooo!"

From then on it was a matter of how did we resolve the problems and, admittedly, not everything was done twenty years later when the mortgage was finally paid off but somehow it didn't matter.

Try to find a place you both believe in.

[Houseplant]

First property we bought, she loved, I hated.

Second property we bought, I loved, she hated.

Neither worked out very well and nor did the relationship