Police

[Andrew]

The Police Stop

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding
and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended
when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this
vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of
it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove
box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after
I shot and killed the woman who owns this car
and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called
his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by
police, and the captain approached the driver
to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.


Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box
so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.


Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove
box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk?
I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer
who stopped you said you told him you didn't
have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the
glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the
trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding,
too.

[darthmoll]

good

[nitrox]

he he he, try this.....

biker hammering over a motorway bridge just touching the tonne...

out steps officer dibble at the bottom of the bridge with his radar gun and flag's him down.

after the usual pish of is this your vehicle sir???...blahdy blahdy blah, the officer asks the rider if he was late for work?....

yes!... the biker reply's, what do you do?? ask's the copper.

im a rectum stretcher!!......... what's a rectum stretcher do then?? enquire's the fed.

well.... i start with one finger work up to two then three then four and so on until ive got both fist's in and the rectum's about six feet two.

what do ya do with a six two rectum?? ask's the copper

i stand him on the downslope of a bridge with a radar gun!! reply's the biker

"thought for the day"....... beware horseless carriage's.

regard's

troxmeister

[daz]

One of my personal favourites.

Young lad, sporty hatch.  giving it all it's got down a dual carrigeway..  

Policeman pulls him over,  walks over to the young lads car,  leans in the windows and says...

"Trouble taking off Sonny"