Something to ponder

[Narked@50]

This one comes up every so often and everyone, self included, tells others how to bring up their kids.

I don't think a slap does a kid any harm as long as it's not too severe or the first port of call. My kids seldom get a smack, and it's never on the head, but when I've warned then several times it sometimes ends up that way. You have to bear in mind all kids are different as well, some will take it quite personally and others will shrug it off and go and do the same thing again - kids, eh, who'd have them!

James

[Steve Summers]

Originally Posted by Adrian Kelland

Unfortunately they learn that it is OK to hit other people.

I agree and unless you are going to hit so hard you really hurt the child I think it won't be long before said child realises the 'tap' isn't so bad after all and carries on regardless.

Alan, I think it's wrong with either scenario, I'm proud of my kids and of their achievements and of the fact they are intelligent, well behaved and respectful of others, all done without me ever raising a hand to them.

Safe diving,
Steve

[Kirstie]

Originally Posted by Steve S

it won't be long before said child realises the 'tap' isn't so bad after all and carries on regardless.

And that's true as well. Standing in the corner for 5 minutes was, for me, a much worse punishment.

[Mal Bridgeman]

Originally Posted by Sixsquid

Parents are to be believed, trusted. It is not just physical actions, it's attitudes and behaviour too

I thought it was the newspapers' fault .... now you are blaming the parents
Mal

[Buoyant Babe]

Of course, if we still sent our kids up chimneys they'd be too knackered to play up and answer back!

Not sure how I feel about smacking to any degree. I got smacked (not thrashed though) as a child and I remember exactly what I was doing to get that treatment. I'm not a parent though, and have no plans to be one, so I'm not qualified to judge.

[Letz]

Originally Posted by Mal Bridgeman

I thought it was the newspapers' fault .... now you are blaming the parents
Mal

I'm not apportioning blame, if I was going that way I'd end up blaming society as a whole. For now the HSE will do

[Letz]

Originally Posted by Kirstie

That's not to say I haven't been sorely tempted on occasions

since Turbs gave you that leather paddle for Christmas

It's not just for ping pong

[Scubee]

I was smacked (sometimes with a wooden spoon) when i was a child. I rarely smack Master Scubee - i think the last time was about 6 years ago when he ran across the road without looking and nearly got squished - even though sometimes i would dearly love to wring his neck.

Smacking doesn't really work. All it has done for me is mean that i have a poor relationship with my parents because i could never talk to them for fear of getting a wallop. That is not the sort of relationship i want with my son.

I try to find appropriate ways of punishing him for misdemenours. For example, he left some litter lying around for someone else to clean up. We had a good chat, and we (i.e. me) decided that to ensure he didn't do it again, he had to go out into the village (properly protected, of course) and spend an hour clearing up litter that others had dropped.

(btw, I am in no way a 'perfect mother', I don't believe there is such a thing. All we can do is our best, and teach them respect for others and their belongings.)

[frosty the snowman]

Originally Posted by Kirstie

I've never hit another person in my life.

Maybe not but you have quite a bit of spider crab blood on your hands...

Originally Posted by Steve S

I agree and unless you are going to hit so hard you really hurt the child I think it won't be long before said child realises the 'tap' isn't so bad after all and carries on regardless.

Alan, I think it's wrong with either scenario, I'm proud of my kids and of their achievements and of the fact they are intelligent, well behaved and respectful of others, all done without me ever raising a hand to them.

Safe diving,
Steve

This is the way I've brought my children up too. I couldn't wish for nicer, brighter more friendly and well adjusted children. I can't tell other people how to bring their children up, only what worked for mine. They have been shown clear boundaries and taught the value of respect without ever having been hit.

I've seen too many abused and assaulted children in the course of my work and I know that the line between physical punishment and abuse is far too thin for me to ever raise a hand to a child. The argument that it never did me any harm' is clearly wrong if the person making that statement also thinks it's acceptable to hit children in my opinion.

[dry suit diver]

Originally Posted by ratcliffe

Kids need a good slap sometimes, its how most of us learnt

have you got kids derek?


my eldest is 6yrs old and learns things without being hit.In fact I think that they teach them using a no hit method in schools and that seems to have a good track record. should we persuade the government to try a slapping an education into kids?
in the 6 years she has been pestering me for things, being a little sh!t as they can be,she has only ever been slapped on her bum 3 times and that has been a clothed backside and i feel awful once i have done it.

we are now in the jealousy phase with her and the youngest and have found that removal of treats with a points system being used to earn priveliges back is working great.

she can earn ponts for being well behaved and big collected points mean a big treat.


as i kid I was regularly thrshed by my mum and hated her for it and didn't respond to the slaps rulers etc that were used.