Happy Burns Night

[StephM]

It's the birthday of our national bard up here. To celebrate I lifted (not literally) this from Conger Alley Forum, thanks to Gord for it. Sorry if it offends but I'm still laughing. Translations can be googled.


Jim O Shachter

Intae the wids amongst the trees
Jim bared his erse, his cheeks tae ease
Nae sooner had his breeks gan doon
Than shity flees were swarmin roon

Intae the wind he bared his baws
And frae his erse a big keeck faws
The reek it curled amongst the trees
Twis enough tae mak the birdies sneeze
An a the beasts in burn and ditch
Got a whiff o something awfy rich
Big Jim he wis in awfy pain
It came out his erse like a nine pun wean
There wis a tear faw fae his ee
Fur a bigger shite you’d never see
Big Jims erse wis raw and sair
Says Big Jim I’ll shite nae mair
Yonder it lay among the grit
A steemin, stinkin muckle shit
There it lay sae soft sae fresh
Nae hair ,nae teeth, nae brains, nae flesh
Tae wipe his erse Jim yaised a docken
While a aroon the birds were boacken
Jim happed it ower wi stanes and stoor
Then sauntered off across the moor
A wee bit quicker wi bein sae light
Efter riddin himself o that muckle shite
Noo a’ve telt ye this tale for a wee bit laughter
A tale ye can tell for ever after
A tell ye noo, a swear its true
The tale o Jim o Shachter

[dry suit diver]

I walked into a ward in hospital where I was doing some work and there was a man repeating this and the wee timorous beatie constantly.


I thought i had gonne onto the psychiatric ward.


turns out I was in the























burns unit





coat on its cold out there

[Waskey]

Happy Burns Night!

Just wish Weatherspoons hadn't jumped on the bandwagon!

[Scubee]

Aye.. there wis an auld codger playin the pipes in Sainsbury's.

My son made up a poem:

Robbie Burns hid in a tree
When he cam oot
He needed ta pee


I told him it wasn't going to win him any awards.

I love this time of year. All the shops sell haggis, then tell you to have it with 'neeps' so they sell you a 'swede'. Its a f****n turnip! right veg, wrong name - why the hell did it get shortened to neep!


(sorry.... 40 odd year old soapbox )

Oh....
It's a brawlicht moonlicht nicht the nicht

[dry suit diver]

tesco sold out on wednesday, had no more deliveries of them since.

strange really as it seems like half of scotland lives in london.

[Dave Crampton]

We have Haggis, Neaps and Taties, for tea

Dave C

[StephM]

Originally Posted by dry suit diver

t

strange really as it seems like half of scotland lives in london.

Ah your approaching it from the wrong angle, think like a politician Half of Scotland don't live in London. :-)

I'll not be tucking into any haggis tonight as I only like the veggie kind. Probably have some Vindaloo instead ............. Oh and a couple of Taliskers.

[Dave Crampton]

Originally Posted by StephM

Ah your approaching it from the wrong angle, think like a politician Half of Scotland don't live in London. :-)

I'll not be tucking into any haggis tonight as I only like the veggie kind. Probably have some Vindaloo instead ............. Oh and a couple of Taliskers.

God Man, wash ye mouth oot with soap, oh I forgot your fee Glasgy, ye dinae have soap....

Veggie haggis smalls of washed sock!!!

[dry suit diver]

Originally Posted by Dave Crampton

God Man, wash ye mouth oot with soap, oh I forgot your fee Glasgy, ye diny have soap....

Veggie haggis smalls of washed sock!!!

straight out of trainspotting


'weedgie soap dodger' love it

[Dave Crampton]

Address to a Haggis:

Robert Burns Tribute - Burns Supper, Haggis, Poems and more