Funny Phraes

[peter k]

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of  speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe  eating -- always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or  death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A  hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form  of floor play.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name  Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable  occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two  egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own  because it is two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead  giveaway.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A  backward poet writes inverse.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism  your count votes.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it  off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you  don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got  a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and  I'll show you A flat
minor.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four  seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully  recovered.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in  Linoleum
Blownapart.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge  it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

He often  broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

Every calendar's days  are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint  mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a  photographic memory that was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of  flattery.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small  medium at
large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be  exposed in the end.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a  mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When an  actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought  she'd
dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know  basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a  jab well done.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of  defeat.

The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a  spectacle
of himself.


Peter