A Shepherd's Tale

[Mr T.]

A shepherd is herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and says to the shepherd:

"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looks at the man, who is obviously a yuppie, then turns to his peaceful, grazing flock and calmly answers, "OK, why not?"

So the yuppie parks his car, whips out his IBM Thinkpad, connects it to his mobile phone, surfs the Internet and finds a NASA site. Then, using the Web site, he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system and scans the area.

Next he opens up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas and after a few minutes he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturised printer.

Eventually he turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep."

"That's correct," says the shepherd "you can take one of the sheep."

He watches as the young man selects one of the animals and bundles it into his car, then says: "Hold on a minute, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

"OK, why not?" answers the young man.

"That's easy," says the shepherd "you're a consultant."

"That's spot on," says the yuppie, clearly amazed, "but how did you guess that?"

"There was no guessing required," answers the shepherd.

"You turned up here, even though nobody called you. You expect to get paid to give me an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't even know a thing about my business. Now give me back my dog."
   


   

[Dominic]

A Man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.  He descended a bit more and shouted, “excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him in an hour, but I don’t know where I am.”  The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.  You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.

“I am”, replied the woman “how did you know?”

“Well”, answered the balloonist, “everything you just told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is, I am still lost.  Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all.  If anything, you’ve delayed my trip. I'm going to be late meeting my friend, and it's all your fault.”

The Woman below responded, “You must be in management.”

“I am”, replied the balloonist, “But how did you know?”

“Well”, said the woman, “You don’t know where you are or where you are going.  You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.  You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.  The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were before we met, but now, somehow, you think it’s my fault.”