IT Advances

[Duiker]

THE URINE ANALYSIS............ One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him:
"My elbow hurts terribly. I guess I better see a doctor"

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,"
Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the
corner drugstore.Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten
dollars... a heck of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and
takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars,
and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into a funnel and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a
printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm
water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new
technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer
could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, scraped some oil off the driveway and
masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack
hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the
results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his
concoction, and awaits the results.


The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her in to
rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. Your Volvo needs repair.
6. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your
elbow will never get better.